a working mom. (and her son)

well, i've been back to work for 2 weeks and 3 days. and guess what? it's not all that bad. it really isn't. turns out, a little breather from my H man has helped me regain my (non-mom) identity and has helped whip me back to being jodi more than i thought possible. that, and squeezing into pencil skirts, high heels and getting my 'aggressive way of getting the job done' (my boss's words, not mine) - my confidence is back.

sure, i have to wake up at 5:30/45, vs. my previous 7am alarm, and mornings are probably the most chaotic part of my day. i wake up, rush to apply my face and fix my hair as fast as possible as my husband and i compete for bathroom time. 10-15 minutes in the bathroom, tops. then i struggle to get my clothes, jewelry, deodorant, perfume applied, all while keeping an ear open for holdie's morning waking wimpers. i fly through assembling my breast pump. pack my lunch. get my work bag ready. get holden's outfit laid out. pack his diaper bag for grandma/pa's house. then i quietly tiptoe into the bedroom and give him his breakfast feeding in hopes that he stays asleep, so i'll be able to pump my access milk, clean/un/reassemble the pump and make the bed. all before waking him again - to get him dressed, lotioned, rediapered and in the car seat for grandma. all this in less than 90 minutes, not stopping once. it's fun. it's my new routine.

work itself is a walk in the park. apparently my brain is still in tact, and i already feel like the nucleus of my team again. it's almost too easy, though - compared to motherhood. people keep asking me how my return to work is/was - and at first i said what i was supposed to - 'sad.' and then once i realized how nice it is/was to have lunch breaks, use my brain and wear real clothes again, i said 'sad vacation' b/c it was so much easier, but i missed my man. and then i promptly built a holdie shrine in my cube, complete with holdie coffee mug and rotating screen savers, and now i say, 'it's fine.' because guess what? it feels good to make money again. and use my brain. and have people acknowledge that i look great because hell yeah, i lost nearly 50 pounds! i'm back to my prepregnancy birth weight? halleluljah breast feeding is all i can say to that. ima feed this kid with my boobs forever. well, maybe not blossom forever, but as long as i can upwards to a year. i feel great, holdie hasn't gotten sick once, and it's not breaking my bank. work has been super accommodating in providing a space to pump, let me work remote on fridays and not guilt tripping me into staying late for meetings that my boss typically would have in the past. plus, there's this empowering feeling of balancing professionalism/career along with motherhood. at first it was awkward, sneaking my black pump tote bag into the conference room and i'd get nervous people walking by would see the 'do not disturb' sign on the door, hear the whirring of my breastpump and feel uncomfortable. now i wear that bag like a badge of pride, and i don't care who knows that i provide the best possible nourishment possible for my baby boy, along with balancing the life of a corporate professional. it's my link to being holden's mommy while still being program manager jodi. it's the yin to my yang.

so yeah, work's going a-ok.

but enough about me and my transition - let's talk holdie! the little bear is growing before my very eyes. every day there seems to be a new discovery or development. my lil munchkin isn't very little anymore. kid's at least 15 pounds! fits snugly in 6 month clothes, has a big ole soccer ball head. he's become obsessed with his hands - eating, sucking, eating some more. his head control is considerably better - if it wasn't so huge, he'd have it down 100%. dude even helps out with diaper changes and lifts his lil legs up in a fetal position every time we remove/put on a new diaper. yesterday i heard the most musical sound in my 31 years - a sneak peek at his laugh. not the dummy beavis/butthead 'uh huh huh' chuckle he's been playing around with, but a genuine high pitched musical chime of laughter in the midst of a daddy dancing spree after his bath. i heard it twice. vin's heard it a few more times. i fell in love all over with life and my son and my family all over again. that's not all - h has been sleeping even better! (I HOPE THIS DOESN'T JINX IT). he's been going down earlier in the night, around 7, 7:30 vs. 8, 8:30 and staying down until between 2-3am for a feeding, to wake again when i do between 5-5:30, and goes back to sleep until 6:45 when i wake him up to go to his grandparents - unless it's a monday when vin has him or a friday when he stays home or the weekend - where he'll usually stay asleep until at least 730-8 or so. it's incredible. but my biology still hasn't fully adjusted to the new schedule, and i'm hoping my supply doesn't take a hit as a result - cuz this kid is never not hungry. thankfully we can introduce solids next month and that should help with his nonstop appetite a bit.

i can't. fucking. wait. to open the fisher price jumparoo we got in the mail yesterday. holdie bomb will be a jumping machine! i love my baby boy. can't believe it's already been 14 and a half weeks. next thing i know, he'll be eating real foods and babbling away.

in conclusion, august has been a good month. h man still has his angry fussy days where mom and dad can do no good. he still has his mean bully moments (like the time he gave me a hickey and bruised my left breast (on purpose, too, i'm convinced because i had the audacity to try and eat my own sandwich instead of watching him eat his), instead of nursing appropriately). but he also makes us laugh so hard. and every evening, as i put him to bed during/after his feeding, i have to stop myself from crying from pure love as i gaze at his sleepy, small infant closed eyes and pursed lips. he's perfect. and he's mine. and this is the chapter we're in today, and i'm loving every minute of it.

i'm a mom, now. and it's the best thing ever. (day 31)

Day 31: July 31, 2014

Age: 11 weeks, 4 days

well, it seems my month long writing experiment is coming to its close. here we are, day 31 - and while i've only been blogging for 31 days, this blog coincides with the last few days of my maternity leave. i'll be back with more rantings, ramblings and reflections soon - but this will be it as far as the daily submissions go. it's been fun, thanks for joining me (and holdie). 

what i've learned in the  last 12 weeks:

1) that true love is impossible to capture into words. that parenthood really is the joy that you hear about. the best feeling in the entire world is locking eyes with the most beautiful little person you've ever seen and getting a giant gummy grin in return.

2) the definition of patience. before holden, i was impatient, self-centered, and incredibly anxiety ridden. now i'm just anxiety ridden for different reasons. this little marshmallow boy of mine has taught me the meaning of selflessness and that sometimes, you just gotta slow down. it's not always about you (me), and i'm all the better person now for it. even when my patience is being tested at its utmost peak - screaming and fussing and i'm convinced he hates me, clinging that little bear closer and whispering 'i love you' now, instead of getting frustrated and placing him in baby jail (the crib) is more likely my instinct option. even if the little dude does go to baby jail, i swear, it's only outta love.

3) breastfeeding was the right thing - for me. before i had holden, many women would ask me if i intended on breastfeeding my son. how the hell could i answer that? i had no idea what it would entail, and even though i knew about all of the obvious advantages/benefits (better immune system, bonding experience, cheaper than formula, convenience, etc.), i had no idea if my body would react the way it was supposed to. or if it would hurt like hell. or if the kid would even like my milk. so i would just shrug and reply that i'd give it a shot and see what happens. here i am, nearly 3 months later, and i'm nervous that my job will prevent me from being able to continue breastfeeding my son. nervous, sure, but i'm not going to let it control me. i love my baby boy with all my heart. he was born 2 weeks early, on the smaller side, and nothing makes me swell with motherly pride more than knowing that my nourishment alone, both in my 8.5 month pregnancy and the past 3 months of motherhood, has produced the large, roly poly healthy big ole baby he is today. drinking from my body, which i've taken care of, has solely been his nutrition and subsistence. and i'm proud to say this little dude hasn't gotten sick once, and is if my home scale is to believed, has already reached 14+ pounds. (he was 6 lbs, 9 oz at birth, 6 lbs, 3 oz when we  brought him home from the hospital). i understand 100% why some women opt not to breastfeed. it wasn't easy, at first. and health reasons. and sometimes not all women can handle fatass babies like me who keep demanding MORE MILK. i feel for these women, not because they can't breastfeed, but because so many people pass judgement on them. but then again, i feel like some people pass judgement on me or other breastfeeding moms - asking if i have a 'cover', am i 'one of those moms' who breastfeeds in public, have we started 'supplementing' with formula yet, etc. just let the moms be the moms. they know what's best for their situation and their baby. i'm actually pretty shocked that breastfeeding happened to be the right thing for me. i was convinced my body would throw a wrench in the mix (especially with my double lumpectomy last year), but now my heart hurts if i opt for an extra glass of wine and can't feed my son every feeding directly from the breast. i wasn't sure i'd be able to do it at all. i certainly never expected to love it.

4) everything else is white noise. the crumpled up laundry. the dirty dishes in the sink. the run i probably shouldn't went on but didn't. the ongoing ignored to-do lists. whatever. i love my baby boy. and i'm glad i spent every second held hostage on my living room couch this summer that i did. i wouldn't trade ten minutes of it for a week on the beach. (although, looking through past blog posts, maybe i would have back then). today, though, this dude is seriously the love of my life.  and i'm going to miss our days of 'doing nothing' when i head back to the real world.

5) people really, really love babies. or at least - pictures of babies. before holden, me and my friends would always bitch about babies. or the pregnant women who would post pictures of their stomachs on social media. 'gross!' we'd exclaim. once i found out i was pregnant, i assured everyone i would never be like that. i'd keep it clean and private, not baby spam up everyone's shit. turns out, even i couldn't stop myself. (one thing i kept my word on - noone ever saw my bare stomach when mister h was gestating - with the exception of my husband, my doctors, and two unfortunate random old ladies who happened to be using my work bathroom a few weeks before i popped and i unknowingly exited the bathroom stall with my shirt rolled up. only after i saw their confused looks of horror as they passed by did i realize my human basketball belly was hanging out. that was one of my more dignified moments.) but then, a funny thing happened. after i had H, people started asking to see pictures of him. so i'd post one or two. and they'd get way more 'likes' than any photo i had ever shared in my last 7 years on social media. for privacy purposes, i purged a good hundred or so 'friends' who i didn't recall ever meeting, or hadn't seen/talked to since i worked with him/her 10 years ago. and i locked my instagram on private private. but seriously, for all the shit talkers out there hating on baby pics? i'm beginning to think it all changes as soon as you give a shit about the mom/dad/kid and they're not just a random acquaintance anymore. that, or the baby lovers are much more vocal than the haters. i'll admit that i have a tendency to overdo it. and i'm guessing once i go back to work, the holden paparazzi show will have to slow down, because i'll be spending the bulk of my day making money to provide for my family vs. watching lost and boobing my little man. but i don't give a shit anymore. i've got a cute kid. ima show him off.

i know there's more to the story. more insightful lessons i've probably learned and will later facepalm myself for not including in this excerpt. but really, it was one hell of a ride. my first excerpt a couple months back, relating to the birth/hospital stay was the intro. this post is definitely nothing close to a conclusion. it's just the ending to the very first chapter in several more to come. the maternity leave. the babymoon. it's fucking breaking my heart, but it's coming to its end. as much as i wish i lived in europe or canada or whatever any other country than the us that gives their parents a WHOLE YEAR off, guess what, i don't. i live in the states. chicago. a pretty great city, albeit expensive and not the safest to raise a baby. but it's home (for now). holdie will get many more walks in the city, visits at grandma/grandpa's house, and be surrounded by his biggest fanclub and honorary aunties/uncles. starting monday, our family will begin a new routine. holdie will have daddy days on mondays, grandpa days tuesdays through thursdays, (and half days fridays), and mommy will get remote days on fridays to maximize the time with her baby boy. and get her ass to work. into pencil skirts and high heels. no more pajamas and messed up hair. (hence, why i'm getting it chopped off in 2 days). let's see if i still know how to make myself presentable and continue on adult conversations. use that other part of my brain. it can't be that hard, right? if i can master the first 3 months of caring for a newborn, and raising him into the porker baby he is today, i can tackle anything. 

i'm just going to miss him. oh so much. but we're strong folks. me and h? we got this.

30 down, 1 more to go: a month of mommying holdie bear

Day 30: July 30, 2014
Age: 11 weeks, 3 days

while i have 2 weekdays and a weekend left before my leave comes to a close, tomorrow is the official final day of my month of maternity leave writing experiment. i'll do my best to come up with some clever observations in tomorrow's 'final' post, but i'm sure i'll still be logging on here in the future weeks/months as i continue my journey into motherhood and holds accomplishes bigger and funnier milestones.

today was a very 'hands on' kind of day. i think my heart's starting to break/wrench and i'm more vulnerable than usual, knowing the light is at the end of the tunnel and my honeymoon with h man is coming to a close - or maybe it was just how freaking irresistably sweet/adorable the little dude was today (he had the same effect on his father after he came home from work for daddy duty), but i couldn't put the little porker down. literally. the 2-3 times i did put him down longer than what it took to race to the bathroom or pour myself a glass of water in the kitchen, h would start to fuss and not be having it. normally, i'd roll my eyes, get a little frustrated, let him 'cry it out' for a bit and just turn up the tv volume. but since i know i'm going to be missing these cuddle sessions, and since H never really cried, persay, i let him hang out with his mom all day. because that's what he wanted. and he's not always going to want to hang out with his mom. i get nervous he won't want mommy time when i go back to work. or will be too tired/fussy by the time i do get home to remember/love on me.

so today, i held him. all day. sure, most of it was on the couch. whether he sat reclined on my legs, sprawled out on the boppy pillow on my lap, suctioned onto either one of my always exposed boobs, or bounced on my torso as i continued to binge watch lost on netflix, h man was never out of my reach. maybe with the exception of our walk through the neighborhood, when we strolled through lincoln square, into ravenswood and up through winnemac park. he napped for the majority of our walk in the stroller, was up for maybe a third of it. but other than that, he was my velcro boy up until dad came home and i got my first jog of the week in at the river park.

we just put him to bed after dad rocked him to sleep and i gave him a final nightcap.

that kid - melts my goddang heart, i tell you. he really, truly does. i'm so going to bawl like a baby - more than holdie after his 2 month shots - when i have to go back downtown.

not fair.

one month of mommyhood: day 29

Day 29: July 29, 2014
Age: 11 weeks, 2 days

today was a very adventurous day! holdie took his very first venture with chicago public transportation on the brown line, mom and dad had 2 ginormous coffees in the morning, we visited dad's work, grandma's work (where h is pretty much more famous than ryan gosling with the ladies), went to the zoo, the lincoln park nature board walk, five guys (the most important destination), and home again - with no meltdowns! pretty incredible, if i say so myself. sure, h slept all of our zoo trip with the exception of being rousted for a cheesy photo booth snapshot, but it was a good day and we all had family fun. too bad we're just now getting comfortable enough with our outings now - 5 days before i go back to work. the only day vincent and i both have off together before i suit back up downtown is the day before i go back, sunday. boo.

oh well. h and i will make the most of it. he's sleeping now and i have icecream.

so i'm going to enjoy it and then pour myself a bubble bath to relax as much as i damn well please.

almost done with this monthly baby journal bizness: day 28

Day 28: July 28, 2014
Age: 11 weeks, 1 day

i kept thinking today was a saturday because my husband had off work today and also has tomorrow off and it was our 'weekend.' kinda feels like it, still. i'm not complaining, we had a really good/fun day and have plans for an excellent day again tomorrow, i think i'm just nervous i'll feel slightly jipped that by the time he goes back to work it won't be monday, the first day of my last week off from maternity leave, but instead, it will be wednesday, with only 3 'free days' and a weekend before i resume my 9-5. oh well. i'm just going to appreciate every goddamn second of it.

today we were supposed to take holdie to the lincoln park zoo and take him on the cta for the first time. instead, we opted to make our first reservation with the igo/enterprise car share system and do some more practical things, like go to target and trader joe's. having little to no luck on the apartment hunt front, its looking much more likely that we'll stay put in our humble lil 1 bedroom abode for another year. since it will save us cash, both in rent and in movers/new furniture fees, we decided it was time to do some minor rearranging to make it more comfortable and maximize the space. solution? transform the cat bathroom/bicycle garage/dining room into holdie's room. we didn't move the crib in there yet, as it wouldn't make sense to evict him from our bedroom just yet, but we did make room for it when the time comes. picked up some new curtains/rod which vin set up already, an area room rug with some color, storage containers to make h's changing station 'aka - our former dining room table' more accessible/organized, and cleaned up a lot of random shit. the end result is a roomier, brighter and more realistic nursery than we realized we were likely to get from the majority of the two bedrooms we have stumbled upon in craig's list.

so, despite holdie having a fit at target, in the car, and in the trader joe's parking lot - we managed to get by with mom behind the wheel and dad in the backseat around the city, accomplishing normal errands - together, and without the need to hitch rides from my in-laws. seems pretty small steps to most people, but i'm proud of our little family today. we're finally self sufficient. oh, and the best part of today? HOLDIE FINALLY SHAT. after not crapping for like 3-4 days, h bomb dropped plenty of h bombs. like, 4 or 5 in succession. big ones. so tomorrow we will have a happy, non constipated baby to take on a field trip to the zoo. (i'm just thankful this helped us avoid a really awkward brown line ride - 5 days worth of poop on the train - cuz knowing our luck, that's exactly what would happen).

now that it's 9pm, h is in bed and i'm finally able to relax, i think i'll do just that. this maternity leave has taught me a lot. i'm sure i'll write something more detailed and thoughtful in my final post with lessons learned, etc. but looking back the past 28 days, or hell, last 11 weeks - i went from not knowin

a month of h banana - day 27

Day 27: July 27, 2014
Age: 11 weeks!

other than the fact that my lil marshmallow still can't crap, today was a good day in the world of mister H. sure, he woke his mom up at 7 am with no additional naps, but when the little dude is all smiles and hamminess 5000, it's impossible to get upset with the little dude. we had a flirty mommy/son morning up until 11 or so when the whole root clan (uncle jamie, aunt annie and all three cousins! this is the first time H has met all 5 of his root fam members at the same time since he was born!) met up with us for an afternoon date in the city. we strolled down for a caffeine fix to starbuck's (i'm kinda missing on the perfect cup these days), and then i introduced the fam to taqueria el asedero. i had to explain the concept of real tacos to my family because we're all super white. 'umm, so there's no cheese - or lettuce or tomatoes in these tacos, just onions and cilantro and meat.' 'are they soft shell?' 'ummm, yes. corn tortillas. just trust me - they're good.' i have to give my fam mad credit though for taking my word on the cuisine and trusting my input, because everyone mostly got the tortas and loved 'em. the one niece who was too scared to try anything new without cheese wound up jealous of everyone else's lunches. and i heard my bro in the other room when i snuck away for holdie's feeding - 'we fed 6 people awesome food for 36 bucks!' yup, we sure did.

holdie apparently has a new favorite cousin - he not only hung out with ellie for a half hour, but hung out with her fuss free the entire time! magic touch, i'd guess. she was bouncing him around, whispering stories to him, 'hoarding him,' as my other niece called it, in the other room. 'she's standing with him between her and the wall!' whatever, kid. as long as he's not crying. i'm just surprised/happy that she was able to maneuver the potato sack as well as she could, given he's half her height. (literally).

after the root gang departed back to the burbs, mom and holds got an episode or two of lost snuck in, with the longest breastfeeding session ever. seriously, i'm praying this kid is going through his 3 month growth spurt, because if he's not, and the amount he's been chowing down is a permanent thing, mom's gonna go outta the milkin' business soon. in fact, after vin got home from work, his sister came over to babysit while he and i attended a work event at his job for a bbq for a couple hours. in the time span of 3.5 hours, homeboy sucked down 3 bottles - 9 ounces! that's a new record.

now mom and dad are home, relaxing on the couch, while mister H is gaga-ing in the crib to sleep. tomorrow is our last family 'weekend,' as vin has monday and tuesday of this week off, and it's my last week off before i go back to work. after tuesday, we'll only have sunday off together as a family. we're thinking we'll make the most of our time off and take holden to the lincoln park zoo and maybe get some grocery shopping done. figured, i've been holed up in this apartment, scared to take holden anywhere other than the neighborhood parks, now's the time to get out there and pretend to have a summer together. holdie's first cta ride! now there will be pics to go down for the books.

til then, ima do my best to keep my eyes open for another 45 minutes or so before i pass out like the sleep deprived senior citizen i am.

starbuck's vomit, raccoons, and holdie sparkles

Day 26: July 26, 2014
Age: 10 weeks, 6 days

I'm vincent and i just got done screaming the chorus-like "HOLDIE LIKES TO MOVE HIS LEGS.  MAYBE HE'LL POOP NOW, MAYBE HE WON'T" to a 10 & a 1/2 week baby while rotating his legs in a quick and mechanized fashion.  I also took quick song breaks to place my nose near his crotch to sniff & check for bowel movements, the result was strictly eating my sons farts instead of discovering the much desired end to constipation.

I'm tired. Jodi's tired.  I catch myself zoning out, mouth agape, traveling to unknown lands of mundane insomnia.  I just watched Raccoon Nation and Moose Attack! on Netflix, shortly after, Holdie Sparkles fell asleep after a fit of cemented bowel syndrome (CBS).  Parents, I'm not sure how you? we? do it?  I used to sleep 8 hrs, and I'm bitching/whining when Jodi averages less than me.  Screw batting averages, yards per carry, rpg, ppg, it's all about sleep per night (SPN) and ain't no one in this house swingin' for the fences.  I took Holdie on an early morning stroll as Jodi slept and he woke me up at the baby butt crack of dawn gurgling & gaggaing.  Naturally, we went to Starbucks as that was the only coffee institution that I carefully evaluated could fit me, Holdie, and his big mothership.  we had to wait in a long line, but as Holdie has well-mannered mornings, the extent  of our long line waiting resulted in smiles and a mid-sized vomit of milk breakfast.  The barista was one of the ones that talks to you after you order your beverage and she said: "how's the little one?"  I shifted Holdie's spacecraft and she caught a glimpse of the curdled milk oozing monster mouth and drool shirt- "oh wow." she said, yea oh wow.  oh wow, another day of tired eyes, tremendous beauty, size 2 Huggies, progress and daydreams, Jodi will be back soon, pardon my commas.

a month of momming the holdster: day 25

Day 25: July 25, 2014
Age: 10 weeks, 5 days

not too much to write about today. the other half is working a later shift than usual, leaving me with mama duties from 2pm-midnightish. after a day of bouncing around on mom's lap with no real noteworthy meltdowns (thank god), i just got the little mister to bed and i'm stuck on the couch with an irritable allergy itchy eye and indecision to either have a glass of wine, continue binge netflixing lost, or log in to my work emails. none of the options really sound too appealing, but i'm doing everything i can in my power to not cave and break open the reeses chocolate peanut butter icecream in our freezer. (i didn't get a run in today, so don't feel i deserve a sugar treat). we'll see. hoping tomorrow is a more eventful day and i can get a run and some relaxing with the fam in.

1 month of holdie bear: day 24

Day 24: July 24, 2014
Age: 10 weeks, 4 days

ok. so i knew it was likely to happen eventually, and thanks to alcohol - it did. i forgot to post yesterday! oh well, it's early the next day so i can still whip out a blurb. yesterday was another decent day - holdie had slept until 1:45 am!!! and then didn't wake up again until 5! so it seems my little frog man is starting to sleep longer through the night after all. this is very good news for mom. yesterday H got visits from his uncle jamie and grandma ellie. he was a popular little dude yesterday. i think he also went through something like 5 outfits, too. with his new nighttime feeding schedule, mom has a little extra milk in the mornings and H lacks self control to stop eating when he probably should. this equals 3 different shirts for mom, too. ricotta cheese party! between visits with uncle J and grandma E, H and i snuck in a stroll to winnemac park. mom decided she's finally taking the plunge and chopping off most of her hair. made myself an appointment after much back and forth and decided i just need to go for it. it's only hair, and plus i never have time to do anything with it - and going back to work, i would rather have the extra 15 minutes i'd spend monkeying with it in the morning to sleep or spend with my lil milk dud. so that's in a week. hopefully it's a decision i won't regret - my first 'mom cut.'

then last evening, mom and dad went out for their weekly date night and indulged in probably a couple more beers than i should have. i don't feel bad at all - just mad at myself for blanking on forgetting to post this blog! had a decent night out at hansa clipper and ricochet's with our pal bruno. it felt nice to have a beer with a friend, in public! it's been far too long. almost felt like a real summer night. thankfully, vin doesn't have to work until 3 today, so he helped with the nighttime bottles while i got to sleep off my buzz. i officially have one week and a weekend left of leave - its hard to believe its already winding down. (i know i mention this every day, but its pretty much all i can think about). here's to making the most of it!

a day in the life of mommy leave: day 23

Day 23: July 23, 2014
Age: 10 weeks, 3 days

so i don't think i made it up yesterday - because last nite holdie def slept longer through the night once again! woke me up around 12:30 am, after conking out around 7:45 - and again around 4am. he woke up at 6:30 as well, but i don't count that as an overnight feeding since i'll have to wake up earlier than that soon. plus, that feeding we decided to co-sleep and i was able to feed him in bed. we both passed out. and woke up to eat some more, and passed out again. UNTIL 10 AM. i love this kid!!! now i know i am not likely to hit the jackpot on that scenario again, but i need to document it because it was a miracle, and i love snuggling up to my lil holdie bear in bed. wouldn't co-sleep with him overnight when i'm in deep sleep, but when dad's at work and it's just the two of us, we have plenty of room to sprawl out and snuggle. god, i'm gonna miss this kid when i go back to work.

since we slept in today, we didn't have time for too many battles or hissyfits. we went for a stroll in winnemac park so mom could get an iced coffee, (since trader joes decided to discontinue their cold press iced coffee - boooo, mom now has to buy it again), and holdie got to sleep by the flowers. we came home, had a couple dance parties, fell asleep in the sling, on mom's lap, on our walk - holdie slept everywhere today. he even slept on our evening family walk through the river park (well, dad and holds walked, i snuck in another 5k - perfect weather for it with the cool breeze!). i was worried he wouldn't go down tonight, and i guess he still could wake up howling any second now, but i just succeeded in getting him to conk out in his peapod swaddle during a feeding. such a cute mess, that boy, specially when he's passed out. this makes me think his 3 month growth spurt is about to take place - the nonstop feedings + day of sleepiness = i can expect to find a 6 foot man with the flirtations of a goatee in h's crib tomorrow morning. gulp.

crazy how yesterday was 90 something degrees and now it's too chilly to keep our windows open. think it's in the mid to upper 60s, now. it's nice, though. sucked that it was too hot to get out yesterday with the little man.

not too much more to report on for today - other than we enrolled in the igo/enterprise car sharing program, finally, which i'm supposed to receive my packet in the mail tomorrow. this means mom and dad will FINALLY have access to a car and can get groceries and maybe even sneak in an adventure or two in the next week before i go back to work with my tail between my legs. would love to check out the botanic gardens or brookfield zoo on monday or tuesday when vin's off of work.

the apartment is quiet - h is in bed, v is in the bath. i think that calls for a moment's relaxation with dare i say, a glass of cab?