digging through the closet in a half drunken attempt to clean, i came across the shoebox of wedding cards and left-over wedding favors - vin and my mix cd 'vincent and jodi: songs to give you cavities"
here's the tracklisting, we have plenty left-over, so if you want one for xmas, maybe santa can slip one under the sheets? its' a good journey thru vin/my sappy jamz.
(or not). regardless, it's a fun lesson - i think even singlez could enjoy.
1) the flamingos- i only have eyes for you
2) jose gonzalez - heartbeats
3) pixies -gigantic
4) wolf parade - this heart's on fire
5) wild flag - romance
6) beck - think i'm in love
7) robyn - indestructible
8) cut copy - hearts on fire
9) handsome furs - i'm confused
10) hall & oates - you make my dreams
11) mates of state - like u crazy
12) the cure -friday i'm in love
13) bloc party - this modern love
14) yeah yeah yeahs - maps
15) thee oh sees - if i stay too long
16) nouvelle vague - i melt with you
Friday, November 25, 2011
2011's hits & misses
so it's that time again. the time where jodi is finally de-stressed enough, with a night to herself with no immediate chores/objectives, and just the comfort of her sweat pants, a bottle of yellow tail merlot, the opportunity to run around the empty apartment flashing her tits at the dumbstruck felines, and do whatever the hell she wants. and comes back ashamed to her long term neglected poor excuse for a blog. (hell, it beats folding laundry). just realized it happens to be november, as in the END of november. it's hard to realize this, given i just biked to the radio station after slumming the day off away, wearing only a track jacket hoodie to boot, but eff it, who needs to complain about the mysterious pleasantries? digging the new m83 album, contemplating if there are any additional purchase worth scavenging for at reckless before family burb holiday time tomorrow while the spouse slumbers, but instead i'm focusing on what worked vs. what didn't, this past year in music.
was a pretty nuts year for me. didn't focus so much on the regular rigamarol of musics in 2011. but that doesn't mean there weren't some solid beats slapped on the ole iPod. here's my list so far. perhaps if i get motivated enough before year's end i'll provide summaries of explanation, but without further ado - here's miss jodi robin (root) sassana's top o' the pops.
what i've been listening to (this past week):
1) M83 - hurry up, we're dreaming
2) doomtree - no kings
3) mike & the censations (michael james kirkland) - don't sell your soul
4) dead presidents soundtrack - (yeah, i know it's been around forever, but i'm finally getting my flirt on with my crucial soul roots)
what's made an impact (this past year)
1) jay-z & kanye west - watch the throne
2) pj harvey - let england shake
3) sims - bad time zoo
4) mike & the censations - don't sell your soul5) thao & mirah - self-titled
6) lady gaga - born this way
7) yacht - shangri-la
8) doomtree- no kings
9) lykke li - youth novels
10) wild flag - self-titled
11) tennis - cape dory
12) panda bear - tomboy
honorable mentions (as in, wasn't really expecting much but wound up listening more than i realized)
1) cut copy - zonoscope
2) shabazz palaces - black up
the second date slump
(anticipated top tens of the year, but alas, sadly admitted long-term let-downs, but still solid b/c i heart these guys so much, but let's be honest here, after forcing myself on repeat for 2-3 weeks post-release, i kinda forgot they dropped; just lost that first impression spark :( - (aka 2010's - spoon transference )
1) lil wayne - tha carter iv
2) bon iver - bon iver
3) atmosphere - the family sign
4) tv on the radio - nine types of light
5) bright eyes - the people's key
6) the go team! - rolling blackouts
7) radiohead - the king of limbs
8) the decemberists - the king is dead
downright terrible (and mad at myself for buying into the hype)
1) tyler the creater - goblin
was a pretty nuts year for me. didn't focus so much on the regular rigamarol of musics in 2011. but that doesn't mean there weren't some solid beats slapped on the ole iPod. here's my list so far. perhaps if i get motivated enough before year's end i'll provide summaries of explanation, but without further ado - here's miss jodi robin (root) sassana's top o' the pops.
what i've been listening to (this past week):
1) M83 - hurry up, we're dreaming
2) doomtree - no kings
3) mike & the censations (michael james kirkland) - don't sell your soul
4) dead presidents soundtrack - (yeah, i know it's been around forever, but i'm finally getting my flirt on with my crucial soul roots)
what's made an impact (this past year)
1) jay-z & kanye west - watch the throne
2) pj harvey - let england shake
3) sims - bad time zoo
4) mike & the censations - don't sell your soul5) thao & mirah - self-titled
6) lady gaga - born this way
7) yacht - shangri-la
8) doomtree- no kings
9) lykke li - youth novels
10) wild flag - self-titled
11) tennis - cape dory
12) panda bear - tomboy
honorable mentions (as in, wasn't really expecting much but wound up listening more than i realized)
1) cut copy - zonoscope
2) shabazz palaces - black up
the second date slump
(anticipated top tens of the year, but alas, sadly admitted long-term let-downs, but still solid b/c i heart these guys so much, but let's be honest here, after forcing myself on repeat for 2-3 weeks post-release, i kinda forgot they dropped; just lost that first impression spark :( - (aka 2010's - spoon transference )
1) lil wayne - tha carter iv
2) bon iver - bon iver
3) atmosphere - the family sign
4) tv on the radio - nine types of light
5) bright eyes - the people's key
6) the go team! - rolling blackouts
7) radiohead - the king of limbs
8) the decemberists - the king is dead
downright terrible (and mad at myself for buying into the hype)
1) tyler the creater - goblin
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
the dream: carrion crawler (empty bottle, thee oh sees remix)
got plans pre-blackfriday/thursday/wednesday? you know, the nite the real kewl kids come out to play? now you do. empty bottle still has tix on sale. come hither, bitches, and see what miss jodi missed out on in a drunken stupid three quarters into what should have/would have been a super stellar solid set some 5 months prior. thee oh sees are scheduled to rock the empty bottle for two sets, one at 7 for ya'll nerds, and another at 10 for the super kewl dudez (such as yrs truly).
like cool-io, i'll c u when u get thurrr. shit will be bananas.
no kings.
ok, so maybe 'ye & jay got my top vote for numero uno for 2011. but fuck if doomtree don't give this egotistical duo a run for their money. (& i just downloaded this noise approx. 1.5 hrs ago, post lame work happy hour).
doomtree 4ever.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
my last day as a single lady.
it rained today. kinda, a lot. i know cuz i was stuck walking in it in a pretty soaked jacket. i really need to get windshield wipers on my glasses, i think - couldn't see a damn thing.
it was my first of 14 days off of work. pretty intense, because that job of mine has consumed 99% of my existence for the past 6 months, and i was pretty nervous to transition the madness on my recently hired soon to be sister in law. don't want her hating me when i come back. she's a tough cookie, though, and can take it.
last night some colleagues from the office took me out for a 'bachelorette' party (although my real one with penis paraphanalia and justin bieber goodies def was waaaaay better and raunchier) at some overpriced irish pub downtown after work. kind of awkward, but also kind of awesome. dr. perlman bought me a shot of citron, and several martinis were consumed, which led to an urgent affair with the porcelain throne soon after my arrival back to the apartment, around 8:30 or so last night. (i'm old, lame, whatever).
the warm wishes and presents from my work acquaintences has been so incredible. i never thought i'd get as much loot as we did from co-workers, but it's definitely helping. turns out planning and implementing a last minute move across neighborhoods and maintaining a comfortable lifestyle in lakeview east isn't the cheapest. but fuck it, we live on the lakefront now. and have furniture. and vinyl. and big tvs. and color coordinated toothbrush holders/soap dispensers/bathroom garbage can sets.
life is comfortable. and sexy. i'm marrying a pretty good catch, tomorrow. his name is vincent. i met him almost 2 years ago, when i began dating a friend of his. this friend, wasn't the fit i wanted in my life at the time. took me on a bumpy emotional rollercoaster of a journey for an entire year. then, as i finally jumped off that dizzying ride, emotionally drained, there was vincent. full of affection and mentally, emotionally and physically, the partner i'd been seeking for all that time. without realizing it. i was very aloof at first, not really ready to break the whole 'bro's b4 ho's' code, but no matter how much i tried to pretend we didn't have an immediate spark, we both knew we did. things got messy for a little while, but after an 'anonymous' love letter, some mystery flowers delivered at my office, and a handful of semi-regular reoccuring 'team friendship' hangout seshes, we inevitably succumbed to our previously denied (by me) romance one liquid courage fueled ridiculous non-date fun night.
we never really turned back, after that. we courted (does that still happen?) for a couple weeks to which point we crossed the official bf/gf bridge. had a lot of fun continuing to get to know one another. butterflies. late night talks. really delicious (too much so) co-cooking dates. a ton of really bad redbox movies. family introductions. a trip to mexico. then, come june 19, 2011, one random bike ride to budacki's turned into a marriage proposal. (in our underpants on a mattress in a bedroom decorated with only a ratted russian doll and a bloody jesus crucifix and a calligraphy poster which read SILENCE). i said yes.
one month post engagement, mr. sassana moved into my dungeon of a garden apartment in the dirty, less hip side of wicker park. we went to jewel a lot. played mario kart. (after we co-invested in a wii together, there was 'no turning back now'). then we purchased a 40 inch flat screen television (now we're definitely in this for the long run). adopted a second cat, the notoriously naughty and awful biter, elliott. we continued to grow and evolve, and became the bestest of friends. had an engagement party that went quite well, thanks to our warm and caring friends and family, and their endless support.
then one day, i woke up and couldn't breathe. not because of my bff 4 lyfe, but literally. and neither could vincent. our apartment had turned into an ant infested dust trap, and living with a 3rd roommate just wasn't working out anymore. i branched out on one of my infamous instant gratification desires to do something new and NOW. 'let's move out,' i said. he said, 'yeah, sure, i can't wait.' but didn't realize i already had a plan in mind. in less than a week, i had arranged for my cousin to relocate from wisconsin, take over my lease in the garden unit, moved to chicago and started a job with my company. vincent got us our dream apartment through his employer, and we now live in a nicer home i've ever had. we have nice things. we clean our apartment together. but shit, was stressful. between moving, working, and barely having a day and half together, we didn't have the time we wanted to prepare for our life together, but we made it work somehow anyway. thanks to friends, family for helping us with our move and planning our wedding on our behalf.
and now here it is, 6:49pm. the night before go-time. vin's in the bedroom, reading a book. the kitties are jingling with their collar bells, and i'm wrapped up in a beautiful granny shawl just presented to me by my good friend sarah, hand knitted just in time for the wedding tomorrow. my nails are freshly manicured, hair dyed, eyebrows waxed, house cleaned, everything except our honeymoon luggage packed.
i'm getting married, tomorrow. to the love of my life - who yes i admit, i haven't known all that long. but even though we may not have met in person years ago, i feel like i've known him (or at least knew of him) my entire life. i wrote about him in my childhood journals, wrote wretched poetry in my highschool years yearning of an intellectual and physical counterpart, and here he is.
tomorrow, i become mrs. jodi robin root sassana. (shit ain't hyphenated, though, just keeping root as a middle name). we're going to celebrate with our friends and family, and then jet off to jamaiaca for a whole week. although i'll miss my babies, i'm pretty sure caroline/renee will take good care of miss mols and els in our absence.
here's to the ending of one chapter, and beginning to a new one - the start to my long overdue and much anticipated, happy ending.
i love you, vincent.
it was my first of 14 days off of work. pretty intense, because that job of mine has consumed 99% of my existence for the past 6 months, and i was pretty nervous to transition the madness on my recently hired soon to be sister in law. don't want her hating me when i come back. she's a tough cookie, though, and can take it.
last night some colleagues from the office took me out for a 'bachelorette' party (although my real one with penis paraphanalia and justin bieber goodies def was waaaaay better and raunchier) at some overpriced irish pub downtown after work. kind of awkward, but also kind of awesome. dr. perlman bought me a shot of citron, and several martinis were consumed, which led to an urgent affair with the porcelain throne soon after my arrival back to the apartment, around 8:30 or so last night. (i'm old, lame, whatever).
the warm wishes and presents from my work acquaintences has been so incredible. i never thought i'd get as much loot as we did from co-workers, but it's definitely helping. turns out planning and implementing a last minute move across neighborhoods and maintaining a comfortable lifestyle in lakeview east isn't the cheapest. but fuck it, we live on the lakefront now. and have furniture. and vinyl. and big tvs. and color coordinated toothbrush holders/soap dispensers/bathroom garbage can sets.
life is comfortable. and sexy. i'm marrying a pretty good catch, tomorrow. his name is vincent. i met him almost 2 years ago, when i began dating a friend of his. this friend, wasn't the fit i wanted in my life at the time. took me on a bumpy emotional rollercoaster of a journey for an entire year. then, as i finally jumped off that dizzying ride, emotionally drained, there was vincent. full of affection and mentally, emotionally and physically, the partner i'd been seeking for all that time. without realizing it. i was very aloof at first, not really ready to break the whole 'bro's b4 ho's' code, but no matter how much i tried to pretend we didn't have an immediate spark, we both knew we did. things got messy for a little while, but after an 'anonymous' love letter, some mystery flowers delivered at my office, and a handful of semi-regular reoccuring 'team friendship' hangout seshes, we inevitably succumbed to our previously denied (by me) romance one liquid courage fueled ridiculous non-date fun night.
we never really turned back, after that. we courted (does that still happen?) for a couple weeks to which point we crossed the official bf/gf bridge. had a lot of fun continuing to get to know one another. butterflies. late night talks. really delicious (too much so) co-cooking dates. a ton of really bad redbox movies. family introductions. a trip to mexico. then, come june 19, 2011, one random bike ride to budacki's turned into a marriage proposal. (in our underpants on a mattress in a bedroom decorated with only a ratted russian doll and a bloody jesus crucifix and a calligraphy poster which read SILENCE). i said yes.
one month post engagement, mr. sassana moved into my dungeon of a garden apartment in the dirty, less hip side of wicker park. we went to jewel a lot. played mario kart. (after we co-invested in a wii together, there was 'no turning back now'). then we purchased a 40 inch flat screen television (now we're definitely in this for the long run). adopted a second cat, the notoriously naughty and awful biter, elliott. we continued to grow and evolve, and became the bestest of friends. had an engagement party that went quite well, thanks to our warm and caring friends and family, and their endless support.
then one day, i woke up and couldn't breathe. not because of my bff 4 lyfe, but literally. and neither could vincent. our apartment had turned into an ant infested dust trap, and living with a 3rd roommate just wasn't working out anymore. i branched out on one of my infamous instant gratification desires to do something new and NOW. 'let's move out,' i said. he said, 'yeah, sure, i can't wait.' but didn't realize i already had a plan in mind. in less than a week, i had arranged for my cousin to relocate from wisconsin, take over my lease in the garden unit, moved to chicago and started a job with my company. vincent got us our dream apartment through his employer, and we now live in a nicer home i've ever had. we have nice things. we clean our apartment together. but shit, was stressful. between moving, working, and barely having a day and half together, we didn't have the time we wanted to prepare for our life together, but we made it work somehow anyway. thanks to friends, family for helping us with our move and planning our wedding on our behalf.
and now here it is, 6:49pm. the night before go-time. vin's in the bedroom, reading a book. the kitties are jingling with their collar bells, and i'm wrapped up in a beautiful granny shawl just presented to me by my good friend sarah, hand knitted just in time for the wedding tomorrow. my nails are freshly manicured, hair dyed, eyebrows waxed, house cleaned, everything except our honeymoon luggage packed.
i'm getting married, tomorrow. to the love of my life - who yes i admit, i haven't known all that long. but even though we may not have met in person years ago, i feel like i've known him (or at least knew of him) my entire life. i wrote about him in my childhood journals, wrote wretched poetry in my highschool years yearning of an intellectual and physical counterpart, and here he is.
tomorrow, i become mrs. jodi robin root sassana. (shit ain't hyphenated, though, just keeping root as a middle name). we're going to celebrate with our friends and family, and then jet off to jamaiaca for a whole week. although i'll miss my babies, i'm pretty sure caroline/renee will take good care of miss mols and els in our absence.
here's to the ending of one chapter, and beginning to a new one - the start to my long overdue and much anticipated, happy ending.
i love you, vincent.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
fall is my favorite.
while it seems impossible for me to evade stress longer than quarter hour intervals, i'm really fucking happy its finally autumn. i guess i never really realized that this is my favorite season. being a bratty spoiled lil piglet, i always presumed summer was the best - school was out, then it was tommy bartlett time, then it was suntanning on the rooftop, unemployed benders with the crew. . . but after this past summer, my energies of youthful regrets went ignored. instead i complained about the heat and cursed the upstairs neighbor with control of the central air thermostat. hid in my dungeon basement unit, only crawling out for the occassional free show or pitchfork. but now that it's autumn, man oh man.
something about the cool breeze at night. the smell of the rain. the chill up my spine in the morning when i finally crawl my lazy ass out of bed. not to mention that nothing makes me feel sexier or more confident than wearing a pair of comfortable skinny jeans, sneakers and a cozy zip up hoodie. for a while i tried to fight this boring ass girl-boy style, but now i relish in it. too bad i cant get hitched in my acid washed forever 21 jeans and my pixies hoodie. . . oh well, the pin-up bride motif i got rockin will have to do, i spose. . .
something about the season takes me back to being 14-15 in argyle. god, i actually kind of miss that place. i would love to go home for a 3 day weekend, but with all the upcoming events and life changes, don't think i can swing it. maybe in january. . . i miss kicking dirty ass moldy wet leaves in my cara beth burnside signature skater vans. drawstring brown baggy jeans from maurice's, and my red and black zip up flannel. blue lipstick. unplucked eyebrows. flat chest. infinity angst and burning scorn. writing desperate letters of desire and affection for an escape and a love in my 9th grade journal. the days when i swore that sublime, beastie boys and blink 182 all tied for best band ever award. (not drinking, ever). pretending to be a skateboarder. working nearly every single highschool football game concession stand to raise funds for whatever miscellaneous nerd club i was involved with happened to be sponsoring that week. going to the goetz theater in monroe. wal-mart.
it seems as if my life finally began in fall. in the year of 1998, was it? 1997? not sure. it was one of those, though. and then suddenly i blinked and all of highschool was ancient history. and then college. and now here i am in chicago, 5 years plus going strong. about to get married. working a big girl job. wondering what will come next. already got a new cat. (thank god). cats are awesome. ANIMALS RULE. i wish i could still pull off blue lipstick (or maybe begin to pull off, not sure i rocked it right the first time around). i wish my fashion sense still consisted of oversized bad alterna-band t-shirts ordered from music mail catalogues, vans sneakers, feather boas, super tight bra-less camisoles, plastic vests and baggy jeans. i was a fashionista.
and i didn't give a damn. i worked my little ass off bussing tables. writing poetry. yearning for more.
now i do give a damn. still working my (no longer) little ass off, but this time in politics. at least politics of the office sort. not really writing poetry. not really yearning for more. i mean, sure i want - but my wants have changed. instead of dreaming some big bold aspiration of moving across the world and becoming super famous and rubbing it in every asshole hater/hateress's faces - i now just want a kitty/boyfriend snuggle party. and maybe some bubblebaths every now and then. (and a new apartment!!!)
but anyway. fall is my favorite. i better enjoy it while it's here. i only have a month before it's time to hang up the rooty ways and settle on down for good. and then it's jamaica. who the hell wants to come back to chicago in november after a week at a tropical getaway honeymoon? not this girl.
man, i wish i had some apple cider and a good ass book and my dude to cuddle up to right now. oh well, this rain fragrant breeze and holey ass rainbow afghan and biting kitten are a second win, i spose.
done rambles. sleep now.
something about the cool breeze at night. the smell of the rain. the chill up my spine in the morning when i finally crawl my lazy ass out of bed. not to mention that nothing makes me feel sexier or more confident than wearing a pair of comfortable skinny jeans, sneakers and a cozy zip up hoodie. for a while i tried to fight this boring ass girl-boy style, but now i relish in it. too bad i cant get hitched in my acid washed forever 21 jeans and my pixies hoodie. . . oh well, the pin-up bride motif i got rockin will have to do, i spose. . .
something about the season takes me back to being 14-15 in argyle. god, i actually kind of miss that place. i would love to go home for a 3 day weekend, but with all the upcoming events and life changes, don't think i can swing it. maybe in january. . . i miss kicking dirty ass moldy wet leaves in my cara beth burnside signature skater vans. drawstring brown baggy jeans from maurice's, and my red and black zip up flannel. blue lipstick. unplucked eyebrows. flat chest. infinity angst and burning scorn. writing desperate letters of desire and affection for an escape and a love in my 9th grade journal. the days when i swore that sublime, beastie boys and blink 182 all tied for best band ever award. (not drinking, ever). pretending to be a skateboarder. working nearly every single highschool football game concession stand to raise funds for whatever miscellaneous nerd club i was involved with happened to be sponsoring that week. going to the goetz theater in monroe. wal-mart.
it seems as if my life finally began in fall. in the year of 1998, was it? 1997? not sure. it was one of those, though. and then suddenly i blinked and all of highschool was ancient history. and then college. and now here i am in chicago, 5 years plus going strong. about to get married. working a big girl job. wondering what will come next. already got a new cat. (thank god). cats are awesome. ANIMALS RULE. i wish i could still pull off blue lipstick (or maybe begin to pull off, not sure i rocked it right the first time around). i wish my fashion sense still consisted of oversized bad alterna-band t-shirts ordered from music mail catalogues, vans sneakers, feather boas, super tight bra-less camisoles, plastic vests and baggy jeans. i was a fashionista.
and i didn't give a damn. i worked my little ass off bussing tables. writing poetry. yearning for more.
now i do give a damn. still working my (no longer) little ass off, but this time in politics. at least politics of the office sort. not really writing poetry. not really yearning for more. i mean, sure i want - but my wants have changed. instead of dreaming some big bold aspiration of moving across the world and becoming super famous and rubbing it in every asshole hater/hateress's faces - i now just want a kitty/boyfriend snuggle party. and maybe some bubblebaths every now and then. (and a new apartment!!!)
but anyway. fall is my favorite. i better enjoy it while it's here. i only have a month before it's time to hang up the rooty ways and settle on down for good. and then it's jamaica. who the hell wants to come back to chicago in november after a week at a tropical getaway honeymoon? not this girl.
man, i wish i had some apple cider and a good ass book and my dude to cuddle up to right now. oh well, this rain fragrant breeze and holey ass rainbow afghan and biting kitten are a second win, i spose.
done rambles. sleep now.
35 Days Until. . . .
these things dj at my wedding reception. if any ya'll heart me, YOU WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN. 11/4/11, happy village. KITTIES ON DEXXX. they be playin me some hall & oates on da real.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
introducing miss elliott root-sassana
anyway. this kat is super kewl. mols and elliott don't even h8 each other. (not like creepy cousin kronos). and she's our baby. so that's pretty kewl. getting married. adopting cats. contemplating futures. planning weddings/receptions in dive wicker park bars. life could be worse--(you could find a string in your hoagie).
CATSCATSCATS
Saturday, August 20, 2011
this is it, ya'll.
werd.
xoxox miss jodirobinroot
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
holy crap, writer's block times ten, you guys.
the past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind. albeit not by choice, i wound up taking a 3 day hiatus from chicago to travel across the country for a brief business trip to seattle for a little chummy time with our west coast office folk. it's had its ups (fresh fish & coffee) and downs (miss my 3's company like fam back in the basement), but one thing's for sure and that's that i'm tuckered out. (who knew? jet lag can really catch up with you when you're working all day and night).
i get to know these people i work with on a more person to person basis, and as i learn more about them, i uncover these secret normal people tendencies that i would never expect to find out. but then i pause and think, well my dear, what did you expect? not everyone you don't know is a robot. take myself, for example. i get engaged 2 months ago and then i fall off the blogging planet. i don't write music reviews anymore. i don't write rambles anymore. i don't go out boozin' it up like the social butterfly (deranged, wings torn and ready to crawl back into her cocoon) i was. i don't make unwise decisions (for the most part). and i have this stinking suspicion that i'm growing up. oh, shit.
it makes me yearn for my old individuality. not in the sense of independence or anything. but i want those old traits that always made me stand apart and cause people to raise their brows in confusion. a glimmer of that cascaded after a business dinner this evening. after sitting all day in a pristine office on the 42nd floor of the seattle columbia tower (bestfuckingviewever,btw) following a day of sitting for a 5 hour flight followed by 6 hours sitting in another pristine, (but mere 18 floor) office building - my ass was goddang restless. i mean, literally. having to shove it in tight, black legging tights and parade around in a business suit and skirt didn't help the cause, either. sitting in the midst of an overpriced french cuisine dinner (i literally had no idea what i even ordered, it was some sort of sausage but resembled a $25 morning microwavable sausage link one-two atop some shitty ass garbanzo beans - eventually traded in for another doctor's salmon dish after he peaced out early, thankyouverymuch), i realized i could not stop twitching. like, literally. my legs and ass were asleep and itchy. sweat stuckto my thighs and it was the most uncomfortable dry dance ive never requested. concerned some doc may catch a peek at my cat skull and cross bones foot tattoo, i tried to wait out the twitch routine, but eventually gave in to the nerves and excused myself to the restroom.
fast forward 3 hours and several physician medical jargony conversations later, i was long relieved those tights were crumpled in my fake leather thrifstore maroon sorry excuse of a purse. i was free! no itchy ass cheeks or chaffing thighs! on my way out, one doctor wrinkled her nose - 'are those reaaaal tattoos? wait, what is that - i can see a moon and stars, but on your other foot?' as she peered down at my grotesque feet, i stuttered and tried to convince her they were temporary tattoos. when that tactic failed, i rambled that i had an image to portray and that tattoos weren't perceived as professional or 'clean and polished'. this just confused her more. 'clean and polished?' yes. clean and polished. just like me and the stanky ass tights crumpled in my purse.
this makes me kinda sad that my only alter ego superhero personality or double secret life lies within my tattoos. especially days after i made the decision to remove my nosering indefinitely. you know, to like, be a grown up and stuff. so what is my alter ego? where is my channel of unique identity? sure, i've got the radio thing - which is awesome and i love it and blah blah blah, but that's a hobby. what about me? where do i differentiate between the norms and my peers? why is it that everyone has this preconceived notion that they must be special and stand apart - this entitled feeling of invincibility. or whathaveyou.
really, i just want to be appreciated. or loved. or something. by my family. sure, my friends too. but really, i just want my mom and older brother, sister and their children, to look at me as a role model. or a positive influence. an example that you can pave your own way. and still not be a complete geekazoid.
it's scary, really. to know that i'm typing this longwinded ramble (that's going nowhere, btw) on a work issued laptop. nursing a bellyache from a work induced food coma. wishing i was home in bed with my non work partners in crime. cuddling. feeling warm and not worrying for once.
you guys, i'm actually getting married. and i'm actually doing ok at my job. and my friends honestly don't seem to hate me for being too busy to knock back brews with them anymore. is this luck? is this fate? is this just the turn of the tides? i don't know. i do know, however, that the last secret identity, superhero, alias, whatever you wanna call it, would be that of a semi-successful married business woman. i mean, for real?
i guess so. with that, i reckon i will call it a night and turn in.
hope to see you all a week from this coming saturday. it may be one of the last occassions you see me as an unwedded single woman in a large group setting. . . .
i get to know these people i work with on a more person to person basis, and as i learn more about them, i uncover these secret normal people tendencies that i would never expect to find out. but then i pause and think, well my dear, what did you expect? not everyone you don't know is a robot. take myself, for example. i get engaged 2 months ago and then i fall off the blogging planet. i don't write music reviews anymore. i don't write rambles anymore. i don't go out boozin' it up like the social butterfly (deranged, wings torn and ready to crawl back into her cocoon) i was. i don't make unwise decisions (for the most part). and i have this stinking suspicion that i'm growing up. oh, shit.
it makes me yearn for my old individuality. not in the sense of independence or anything. but i want those old traits that always made me stand apart and cause people to raise their brows in confusion. a glimmer of that cascaded after a business dinner this evening. after sitting all day in a pristine office on the 42nd floor of the seattle columbia tower (bestfuckingviewever,btw) following a day of sitting for a 5 hour flight followed by 6 hours sitting in another pristine, (but mere 18 floor) office building - my ass was goddang restless. i mean, literally. having to shove it in tight, black legging tights and parade around in a business suit and skirt didn't help the cause, either. sitting in the midst of an overpriced french cuisine dinner (i literally had no idea what i even ordered, it was some sort of sausage but resembled a $25 morning microwavable sausage link one-two atop some shitty ass garbanzo beans - eventually traded in for another doctor's salmon dish after he peaced out early, thankyouverymuch), i realized i could not stop twitching. like, literally. my legs and ass were asleep and itchy. sweat stuckto my thighs and it was the most uncomfortable dry dance ive never requested. concerned some doc may catch a peek at my cat skull and cross bones foot tattoo, i tried to wait out the twitch routine, but eventually gave in to the nerves and excused myself to the restroom.
fast forward 3 hours and several physician medical jargony conversations later, i was long relieved those tights were crumpled in my fake leather thrifstore maroon sorry excuse of a purse. i was free! no itchy ass cheeks or chaffing thighs! on my way out, one doctor wrinkled her nose - 'are those reaaaal tattoos? wait, what is that - i can see a moon and stars, but on your other foot?' as she peered down at my grotesque feet, i stuttered and tried to convince her they were temporary tattoos. when that tactic failed, i rambled that i had an image to portray and that tattoos weren't perceived as professional or 'clean and polished'. this just confused her more. 'clean and polished?' yes. clean and polished. just like me and the stanky ass tights crumpled in my purse.
this makes me kinda sad that my only alter ego superhero personality or double secret life lies within my tattoos. especially days after i made the decision to remove my nosering indefinitely. you know, to like, be a grown up and stuff. so what is my alter ego? where is my channel of unique identity? sure, i've got the radio thing - which is awesome and i love it and blah blah blah, but that's a hobby. what about me? where do i differentiate between the norms and my peers? why is it that everyone has this preconceived notion that they must be special and stand apart - this entitled feeling of invincibility. or whathaveyou.
really, i just want to be appreciated. or loved. or something. by my family. sure, my friends too. but really, i just want my mom and older brother, sister and their children, to look at me as a role model. or a positive influence. an example that you can pave your own way. and still not be a complete geekazoid.
it's scary, really. to know that i'm typing this longwinded ramble (that's going nowhere, btw) on a work issued laptop. nursing a bellyache from a work induced food coma. wishing i was home in bed with my non work partners in crime. cuddling. feeling warm and not worrying for once.
you guys, i'm actually getting married. and i'm actually doing ok at my job. and my friends honestly don't seem to hate me for being too busy to knock back brews with them anymore. is this luck? is this fate? is this just the turn of the tides? i don't know. i do know, however, that the last secret identity, superhero, alias, whatever you wanna call it, would be that of a semi-successful married business woman. i mean, for real?
i guess so. with that, i reckon i will call it a night and turn in.
hope to see you all a week from this coming saturday. it may be one of the last occassions you see me as an unwedded single woman in a large group setting. . . .
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