today is one of those corporate hostage days. holiday weeks are always rough enough to stay focused, but i have a hunkering this week will be 3 times more 'for show' than usual. surprisingly enough, i was able to knock out 90 minutes of work this morning (even more surprising that i had 90 minutes of work to do in the first place). but the rest of my duties? benched until the rest of my team returns from vacation - apparently i haven't mastered the art of telepathy yet, so the rest of my stuff has to wait until january. out of my team of 8, one other dude joins me in our otherwise empty and quiet office. ok by me, it's just more quiet than usual, and i'm trying to find ways to occupy the next 6.5 hours of today, and planning for the next two days of this workweek, until another 4 day weekend awaits me. i'm not complaining. i know i have it made.
but as a mother. it's like - whoa. quiet? and i'm getting paid to just sit here and be on call? whoa. ok.
so i'm trying to wrack my underused brain and try to get some writing out, since i know it's not like my home environment is tranquil and peaceful. or stimulating. home = put the baby in the box. the jumper. the playpen. the diaper pad. he shat. he's hungry. daniel tiger. let's walk him around. dad - your turn? repeat. i love that kid, though. as the end of the year approaches, it's that time where i pretend to get all deep and insightful and shit and reflect on the past 365, who i am, who i've become, what i should do differently in the days ahead, how to improve upon myself, my life, goals, etc.
goals. ugh. what a downer. goals suck. i'd rather just do the shit i want. i can plan, sure. but goals nauseate me. maybe that's just because my annual self appraisal review at work is due and that's the absolute last task i feel like embarking upon. i'd rather be pregnant for a full day, 8 months, even. then do that stupid terrible review. but i digress.
obviously, this was a pretty big year for me and my family. i had a baby! my career took a backseat in my personal priorities, and now motherhood trumps all. and it's pretty awesome, no regrets. and after getting tipsy on 2 beers yesterday, i splurged and booked myself my first professional back massage for later this week, so there's that to look forward to. my 'treat yoself' gift for sleeping like a masochistic contortionist every single night to make sure my tit is within suckling grasp for the little piglet who refuses to sleep in his crib.
people ask me how i'm doing. how i've been. and i feel like all i ever have to say is the same thing. 'well, holden's good. still no sleep. it's great, though.' and then they ask about work. 'work's ok. it's flexible which is good.' are you still in chirp? 'kinda, yeah.' and that's all i really have to say about anything. honestly, the past two months i looked forward to christmas. just because it was an event and it was something with a set date, and it was an excuse to dress my son up in ridiculously adorable little old man outfits. now that that's passed, i put an insane amount of money on my credit card for an upcoming evening in wisconsin dells the first weekend in march. we'll take a family vaca to meet a good girlfriend of mine and her family. our babies will meet. we'll take them swimming. eat pizza. and i couldn't be more excited. so that's my life now. spending two+ months eagerly awaiting a swimming pizza family date. and being so fucking excited.
so why bother changing who i am. who i've become. what's to improve upon? what goals do i need to set - other than maybe more frequent family vacations. i don't know. this new year's deep thinking stuff is over my head now that i'm a grown up. sure, i still battle my own personal afflictions and conflicts. who doesn't? but the difference now is that i'm hardly one to really air any dirty laundry, as mundane as it could be - because that's not in the best interest of my son. i can't complain, so why should i? i shouldn't. so i won't. so instead, pizza. and waterslides.
but damn, that makes for one seriously boring blog post, doesn't it? i suppose instead, i could reflect on the musical selections i enjoyed in 2014. i can't really compose a top 10 list of 2014, for a multitude of reasons, mainly that i don't think i even listened to 10 different albums this year, released in 2014 or otherwise. but there were tracks i enjoyed. or older artists i really dug. maybe i could do a music spotlight? maybe that shit would give you an idea of how motherhood has really bored me down, MOMMED me, if you will.
there's no rhyme or reason, method or preconceived thought put into this list. but if you're still reading this now, you're obviously really bored (probably also another peer corporate hostage), so what the hell.
Run the Jewels - RTJ2
I never listened to the first release from Killer Mike and El-P. And quite honestly, I wouldn't haven't listened to this release either, had it not been released for free online and continuously plastered all over my Facebook feed. But enough peers with reasonable music taste cred continued to endorse it, so I figured what the hell. At first listen, it was too aggressive for my liking. Too many 'eat a dick' references. So many dicks. Every track, it seemed, talked about dicks. Dick - what a strong word. Not penis. Not dong. Not weiner. (ha, can you imagine? rick ross or some other heavy duty hardcore rapper going on about weiners? ok, i am lame now.) So the kinda feminist side of me was like, ehhh, I'm in my 30's. I don't need to listen to this--but the production did seem sleek. And as I continued to give the record a spin and a re-spin on my iPod commute, I found the album really slowly growing on me. It was aggressive. It was angry. And yes, it was a pair of 40 something year olds rapping about their lives, or probably some social consicious crap. I don't care. Content has never really driven why I've been drawn to specific hip hop releases or not. Slick beat? Smooth rhymes? Ok. Jodi 5, 10, hell even 3 years ago, could have written a concise and thorough analysis with research as to why this album was on her top preferences for the year. Jodi now is too tired. Seriously. So tired. So instead, I'm rambling about liking an album I really honestly have no personal connection to, other than the fact that sometimes I just need something loud and angry on my morning commute. Something to supplement the permacup of coffee attached to my right hand. And that track with Zach de la Rocha from Rage Against the Machine? Holy nostalgia. I love me my 90s, and Zach is still that angry dude. Close your eyes and count to fuck is a fucking tight track. As are several others on this record. So maybe this is even my fave album of the year? I don't fucking know, but this was definitely worth the free 99 to download.
Spoon - They Want My Soul
They say ('they'= everybody) that once you own one spoon album, you own them all. And in a sense, they're correct. Lead crooner Britt Daniel has a very distinctive voice, but not a whole lotta vocal range or fluctuation. AKA - all his shit sounds the same. But it's so fucking good, that I don't give a shit. Just b/c homeboy's vocals all sound comparable track to track doesn't mean that every release Spoon puts out there is solid gold, because it's not. (Transference, anyone?) But I didn't think this Austin based indie rock staple could issue another album as strong as 05's 'Gimme Fiction', or another record after 07's 'Ga Ga Ga Ga' that could peak my interest. So when I heard a new record was dropping this year, after only being lukewarm to Daniel's collaborative effort with Wolf Parade & Handsome Fur's Dan Boeckner Divine Fits, I didn't give a shit. Hunting out new music was more of a chore than a leisure this year, and I didn't really feel like boring myself with another 12 track of generic alt rock more suited for the NPR crowd than me. But I guess I am the NPR crowd, now, so I don't even know what I'm getting at there. So when my brother was visiting one day this summer, and we were conversing about new music, I asked him if he heard the new Spoon record as it was a common ground band of ours. He repeated my intro above - ie, once you have one record, you have 'em all, but I was bored. So I did something out of character and actually downloaded the new record. For full price. On iTunes. What? Well, it turned out to be one of the smarter and better investments I made in the last year, because with tracks like "Let Me Be Mine," "Rent I Pay," "Do You," "Knock Knock Knock," and the album's moniker, it's a really solid fucking album. And I listened the shit out of it. Probably one of the only releases that kept me sane throughout the three months of maternity leave i endured earlier this year. I don't know exactly what it is about the record, but since procuring it in early August, They Want My Soul has been an easy go-to-favorite for my morning downtown commute.
TV on the Radio - Seeds
Another surprise for me. After eagerly awaiting the release of Nine Types of Light, only to be totally let down, I figured there was never going to be another 'Return to Cookie Mountain,' or even 'Dear Science'. And I'm right about the first assumption - there'll never be another RTCM. But Seeds, an impulse $5 buy on Amazon, actually is remisiscent to the poppier glitz jams found on DS. It's hardly fodder for any major publications top albums of the year, but as I stated earlier, I'm hardly the music critic I once was. For a lesiurely listen, this album was definitely worth the five bucks. The first six tracks on this record are a solid listen - with first single, "Happy Idiot," almost worth the five bucks alone. Opening track "Quartz," "Careful You," and "Could You," are all solid tracks, so the first half of the record is nonstop go go go. Perfect soundtrack for bouncing a non-tired little boy to sleep in your kitchen, half mad, running on fumes of the long day past. The second half of the album isn't bad, by any means, but the songs begin to blur together, giving off TV on the Radio syndrome, where everything just sounds harmonious, expensive, overly produced and good - but the exact same. Maybe good background music, but nothing demanding your attention, begging to be repeated or sticking out in your head like the first half. Like I said, totally worth the five bones, but not likely something I'll revisit a year from now.
The Jesus Mary Chain - Darklands
Obviously, this album wasn't released in 2014. And let me be upfront in my disappointment for all you so called 'friends,' who have known me long enough to know that what really makes me tick is80's and 90's cult alternative, and never once recommended this staple to my must have collection. I mean, seriously? How did I get by for so long without every pining and obsessing over this dark, broody Scottish quintet? Of course I knew the single everyone else knows, just like honey, but it wasn't until a couple weeks ago I decided to stream my iTunes radio station 80s alternative and found that the station was plumb full of tracks from the 1987 album Darklands. And how much I loved it. It made me angry at my younger self, who thought she was so indie cred, listening to the Dandy Warhols for so long in the 90's and 2000's, when obviously, they were and are a major TJMC rip-off. This morning, even, with my iPod on shuffle, the intro to Just Like Honey (not from this record, I know) started with the bump - ba-dump percussion intro, I skipped ahead (on shuffle) to a Deerhunter track, that had the IDENTICAL opening intro. I even skipped backwards to the JMC track again to make sure, and yep- total ripoff. So they obviously influenced a good majority of today's indie bands without most idiots like me being completely oblivious to their greatness/influence. But that's changed now. I feel like a dork, thinking I was so knowledgeable on a music scene I obviously still have a lot to learn on, and like an even bigger dork for onlyl learning more through iTunes radio stream - but whatever. This album is dark enough to get me through never sleeping, and matches my not depressed but not 100% happy all the time b/c the baby is a vampire and sucks all my lifeforce outta me days where I need a little comiserating. It fits right into my Depeche Mode/Tears for Fears/Cure/Echo & The Bunnymen/etc. mood playlists. Makes me feel normal. And resentful for all teens and youths who spent the 80s wasting their tastes on crap like Inyxs like my older bro, instead of tapping into the real greats. Thanks, Jamie - for passing on your love of Huey Lewis and leaving it to your kid sister to school you on the Pixies. But yeah, if you haven't heard this record yet - 2015 is your year to kick yourself in the ass and do so. It's fucking good.
Taylor Swift - 1989
This isn't a joke. And yeah, it's one hell of a transition from the Jesus Mary Chain. And I realize by admitting and listing this album, I am a sucker. But I'm also a mom, now. And Shake it Off is really fucking catchy. Even though I'm sick to death of it as it's my 7 month old son's favorite song (guaranteed to stop a melt down in its tracks every time), I still can appreciate it. Other than that ungodly awful fucking 'breakdown' or rap bit she does at the end. Fuck that. Seriously. No. But the album itself is surprisingly good. Even Pitchfork thinks so, although they didn't go so far as to admit it outright, just by naming two of the tracks on their top 100 songs of the year list. Ha. So this album was given to us as a xmas gift for Holden, who unwillingly and unknowingly suckered both his 80s/90s snob mom and death/black/gloom/scaryfuckingshit metal loving 'i hate pop music' dad into fans. What the hell, right? But if you listen to the album once, you'll see that it's catchy. Listen a second time, the songs will linger in your head. A third time? and you're screwed. You'll have to admit it's actually good, and you like it. Unless you have better taste than me and my family, which is very possible. But whatever. I think it's funny. I fully admit liking pop music, I get a kick outta the fact that my son and husband do, too.
Other releases that got more than a couple spins this year include Beyonce's self-titled - which I know was released in December of 2013, but still had a lot of spillover in the first half of the year as my prego diva soundtrack; Haim was on repeat from later 2013 as well; Veruca Salt's 'American Thighs' received a lot of play in anticipation of the July 12th concert I caught with my cousin at Lincoln Hall - the one and only show I made it out to this year - and ohmannnn what a drunken dream that show turned out to be. . . ; and a late record that surprised me as an impulse whim was the Charli XCX record. Total bubblegum snotty girl pop at its best and worst - some of the tracks like the Vampire Weekend featured "Need Ur Luv" are fucking catchy as hell. Perfect baby rocking in the kitchen music, which is pretty much every night.
Music. I miss hunting for it. I miss talking about it. I miss listening to it. I never thought I'd be one of those people who you'd ask, 'what are you currently listening to these days' and would say, 'eh nothing new, really'. I always thought those people were insane. Turns out, those people had families. And more important things to do than impress random hipsters with bar music chat. Although, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss a good night out at the Green Eye or The Whistler, fancy overpriced craft beer or bourbon concoction in hand, half in the bag rambling about the next big thing. There's always 2015, I suppose.
At this point I've succeeded in killing nearly 90 minutes on the clock and the first coffee of the day is wearing off. I think I've accomplished a sufficient ramble for the day, month, year, although we'll see if any more caffeine inspires the old rusty wheels in the noggin another day this week. Wednesday at 3:00pm is still 48+ hours out there. . . .
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