this is what you get.

i happened to stumble upon something earlier today that reminded me of this song. or rather, a past reference to karma in general. whenever i hear that buzzword of hocus pocus, i can't help but channel a mopey thom yorke straight into my brain on repeat. haunting. this is what you get, when you mess with us. karma or not, it's funny what time will do. will show. will change. and tell. 

i still remember when i bought ok computer. on a total uneducated unbiased whim. at a wal-mart. when i was 14. in dodgeville, wisconsin, of all places. i was with my cousin staci and her estranged sorta kinda step-sister at the time. we each bought ourselves our own album with our allowances. staci might have gotten a cassette, if i recall? was it beck? or did she get that through her abused minor status membership with columbia house? i don't know. all i know is i began my flirtation with 120 minutes on late sunday evenings on mtv around then. and realized alternative/'punk' (blink 182/mxpx if that counts) music was more up my alley than the whole roller rink pop that was currently dominating the radio airwaves at the time. this radiohead group, they had the cartoon music video. (paranoid android - only one of the best songs ever written to date, still in 2015, in my humble opinoin). so that was basically the jist of my knowledge other than 'creep,' of course, which i had from my mtv buzzbin compilation cd, on radiohead and their discography.

there are people who love radiohead, and those who don't. i respect both categories. i kinda fall halfway in between. ok computer is a masterpiece and will remain a permanent fixture on my ipod for as long as i'm jodi robin root. the bends and pablo honey too, are excellent albums. once yorke and co. began to get trippy with Kid A onwards, i kinda half paid attention, but only really cared (or pretended to) under the influence of weed. because i was like, you know, in my early 20's and that was cool. at least i thought it was, a step above hanging bob marley or pink floyd posters in my college dorm room. but as creative/eclectic as it was, and showcasing real talent, it was further away from my beloved 90's alternative nucleus that i had found to be so comforting in their sound.

but is this a blog about radiohead? or my no secret admiration for 90s alternative rock? i don't know, i didn't plan on penning one at this particular moment - it just kind of vomited out. like i said, i was remembering an instance of 'karma', (or lack thereof), --> karma police --> the spoof video from MTV's TRL which featured Elmo instead of Yorke in the backseat of the car featured in the video --> Stephen King's 'Christine,' b/c if you've read it, duh - if you haven't (haunted car) --> back on this Elmo thing, holy crap I have a kid who likes Sesame Street, man how things have changed since my 14 year old me days of thinking bright blue lipstick and white mascara and going braless in a skintight babydoll blue camoflauge dress was EVER a good idea --> i think i need more coffee.

that's me, right now. 

staring at the clock. i have work to do. i have things to concentrate on. ways to be productive and proactive. but in 3 hours and fifteen minutes, i go to pick up my mom. at the jefferson park terminal. she's watching the little one tomorrow, as our regular babysitter fell through this week, and because ADULTING. adult. i know how to adult. sometimes. plus, booze cruise. saturday. thank god. as lame as it will probably turn out, i will be on a boat, downtown, with a large group of hipsters i do not nor care to associate with, drinking at a hosted bar, dressed in some sort of nautical gear, watching fireworks along the river, happy to be out on an adulting night. thank goodness for grandmas who periodically agree to babysit. because, ALCOHOL. it's a good thing. (in moderation).

my family and i moved, recently. same neighborhood, ish, different neighborhood ish. it's a good thing. we have space, now. and even bought the little one his own bed. (see: MY bed). it's comfortable. thank god for disposable income to buy responsible things like new beds. because sleeping, you guys. it's good. when you can. which isn't all that often, sometimes.

booze cruise. radiohead. working. life is good, at the moment. i do miss friends, from time to time. and yearn and anxiously await for saturday, september 26th. my date night with fellow mother to toddlers becomes a reality in milwaukee. brewery tours. maybe floating in a weird pod thing. manicures. ALCOHOL. because as previously stated, it's a good thing. girl time. no husbands, no children. and sleep. because i can. (for the first time in the little one's 15+ months here outside my stomach walls).

the kid is good. great, in fact. i've learned my hair cutting skills are not on par. but resourceful enough. we watch a lot of cartoons and i find myself singing along to horrendous theme songs more often than not. we walk, we run, we laugh, we play. playgrounds are a more frequent stomping ground for yours truly than former watering holes. that's ok. i love my little bugger. he knows how to give a hug that'll melt your insides and give you an unintended x rated smooch. (open mouth, all the way). developing like crazy. and alas, still on the breast. that's ok. he can win this battle, we'll win the war together, and meanwhile his immune system will continue to successfully battle any/all germs, and he'll continue to vacuum any chance of a booty his mama ever hopes to regrow.

it's all good though. this is what you get. it's what i get. police or no, karma or not. each day continues to progress, and some days anxiety rides higher than others, but we're still standing strong and proud. 

and booze cruise, you guys.