two surgeries, one week, one stubborn patient. while it's nice to take the time off from work. i'm pretty effin' grateful i'm done with these 'self-improvements' of mine. thank goodness for the company of my beloved feline nurses, miss mols and els (beans!), on these boring ass days. (oh, and my husband has been pretty damn amazing as well).
eye surgery went well, i'm pretty sure it was successful, although the vision close-up still tends to get a bit blurry at times, especially when i'm zoned out on the computer or reading for too long, but that's to be expected, per my eye doc--he said that such a large correction as mine should take upward to a month to be 100%, i hope he's right. but overall, waking up and not having to plop in contacts or squint around for my glasses has been a dream come true. just this morning, i was reaching around on my nightstand for my specs, when i realized, oh yeah, i can see already, don't need 'em. was pretty nice. the experience of the surgery itself was a blur. maybe 15 minutes tops, and while there were 2 60-second intervals of discomfort when they suctioned some lil roly poly clockwork orangey clamp on my eyeball to peel back my cornea, after the pressure was released it was just a super rad lazer light show that woulda put pink floyd to shame. blurs, lights, blinky red dot, and boom. yer done, here's some sexy ass horace grant goggles to wear at bedtime and a baggie full of drops.
i kinda miss the goggles, already. . .
then yesterday. not so much fun, but not too bad, either. come to think of it, the surgery yesterday was probably the best out of all the steps leading up to it, in my journey through not-quite-breast-cancer. my husband was there to hold my hand. i got to wear a super cool robe and be rolled around on a bed like royalty. and they konked me out something fierce. i remember talking to my doctor, being rolled into the OR, and then waking up in recovery, and being handed off to vincent, who then catered to my every need and scolded me everytime i tried to get up and do something for myself. took yesterday and today off of work, which is why i'm rambling here, but the worst of it honestly is not being able to shower until friday morning. yech. plus, i haven't gotten to remove any of my bandage dressings, and to be honest, i'm a little freaked out to find out what kind of scarring remains, but my surgeon assured me that the majority of the scarring would fade by months time. guess that means no wet t-shirt contests for me (until november, that is). overall, despite the hefty co-pays and nightmares of medical billing (and this is even with the top notch BCBS PPO), and the trauma of being a nameless statistic in the realm of hospital care, i'm grateful. i'm grateful to not have cancer. to have a full life. to have encountered the support of my friends and family. to remain strong. sure, there were a few instances before the results of my biopsy came back that led me to a dark place, but now that i'm on the other end of everything, with only a few scars and check-up appointments remaining, i feel like a stronger woman. lump free and ecstatic. cancer-free. it's a pretty damn fine feeling, to be honest with you.
now that my health woes are on their way to being a part of my past, i'm confident that i can begin to save and invest my time, resources and finances into building the next chapter in my future. will that bring a career change? a move to a new city? building a family? well, not yet. my 20's (and first couple 30's), are reserved for me and vincent. what adventures await us are unknown, but hopefully from here on out these adventures can be positive, exciting, and a little less heavy. now that i can see and i don't have any lumps in my breasts weighing me down, i'm hoping i can build up the energy to lose those extra 15-20 lbs. get on my bike. skip on the pizzas. run around. i wish their was kitty exercise programs. srsly, i swear i could lose 10 lbs like whoa, just chasing kittens around in a circle, like in a gym or field all day. that shit would be fun as hell.
ok, ok, ok. i'm getting ahead of myself. 90 minutes left until vincent comes home to cure me of my bedridden woes, and hopefully i can get my unshowered bandaged self up and at em to go for a walk outside. until then, i guess i'll take a stab at a few album reviews (you know that write up on beach house's bloom is in the works, kiddos), and updating that extinct resume of mine, just in case you know, that job opportunity arises for a kitty work-out coach.
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