no one does it like me.

the winter of 2009 was very cold and frigid. dark and bleak. the icicles that hung from the roof of my third floor porch roof pierced past the length of my story, cascading down to the 2nd floor, a story beyond my view. it averaged 0 degrees,  or below, on a regular basis. january 2010, was particularly dicomforting.

it was a rough winter, and what i thought would transpire into an even tougher year - but i was wrong. in retrospect, it was one of the most crucial and turning point years in my life to date. i had just exited the only real relationship i had known, and had very few friends. after the winter of frozen hearts, i eventually met my friends and found myself. and the first year at 4953 north oakley, i lived with one of my closest lifelong girlfriends- and while we took turns sobbing in our bedrooms and nursing heartaches with pbr, i'm going to her wedding next weekend and i've been married for nearly 2 years, so the sloppy lovedrunks we were, really had no idea. (how good we had it bad. at least we had one another).

one night, it was particularly freezing. (literally). 32 degrees below zero. it was mid january, and i had tickets to see department of eagles at schuba's in exchange for a review. being in love with grizzly bear at the time, i was on the fence - do i freeze my ass off to go to a show? or more difficult - do i freeze my ass off to go to a show by myself? keep in mind i had all but 2 friends in the city of chicago at the time, and their musical palette hardly mirrored my own. going to a show solo was a new concept of mine.

but against the odds, i suited up and i trudged the freezing hell to southport and back and made the show. it was magic. the performance was fine, but the independence and gratification i got of doing something independently and outside of my comfort zone was so much more than a hipster concert. it was the transitioning of who i have become today.

it's been nearly 4 years since that terrible winter. i listened to a lot of (ok, way too much of) kanye west's 808s and heartbreaks. heartless? yeah, sorry courtney, that shit was on repeat. and the shout out louds' 'very loud'? that too, for some reason induced the sobbing.

now i can listen to both and laugh it off. dept of eagles' 'no one does it like you?' just makes me feel strong. a minor action in a larger scheme. i'll never forget that freezing commute home. lonely as i may have been, i finally found comfort in myself.