Thursday, April 23, 2015

hooray for boobies. or: the eye twitch.

It seems that I’ve developed a bit of an eye twitch. Today is Thursday, and I am still tired. The twitch began its involuntary trickery with my left eyeball early Tuesday morning.  My child is still not letting me sleep. He has a dependency on my breast. As in, he won’t sleep. Unless it’s in his mouth.  All night long. He is sick this week, so I’m too weak and tired to fight him off, which means that when I’m tossing and turning, and not sleeping and exasperatedly asking my husband what time it is in the middle of the night, I find myself secretly hoping it’s closer to the 6:00 am wake up time than not. In the past I’d pray it was closer to midnight, so I’d have a chance to sneak in a few winks. These days, I know there’s no chance at sleeping, so I just hope it’s later. It’s always earlier. 1:00 am or so. The twitch, as my good friend Dr. Google tells me, is a sign of chronic sleep deprivation and stress. Imagine that! A year of sleep deprivation is all it takes, my friends, until your physical appearance takes on the inner insanity and craziness one feels internally due to a lack of quality z’s. 

So yesterday, I took a ‘me’ day. Monday, my head was killing with a migraine. Tuesday, the eye twitched. Wednesday, I handed off the kiddo to my in-laws without revealing my evil sinister plot of staying home in my pajamas, eating ice cream in bed, and SLEEPING. Which I fulfilled. I slept from 7:15-11:30 am. I hadn't looked at a time that late on my cellphone since I was gestating the little monster. I woke up, inhaled a Trader Joe’s salad, followed it up with some of my husband’s stashed mint chocolate chip ice cream, (it was the least I could do, seeing as how he gobbled up 50% of my chocolate stash I thought I had so cunningly hid on the bookshelf in the living room), and laid back down in bed for another hour or two. Sprawled, diagonally, even. The sleep was heavenly, but I did not wake up feeling like a miracle took place. Fully rested, it seems, will take more than one day of playing hooky. I think it was enough energy, however, to make it through the next day. The next week. Keep on trucking. But as soon as my husband and son walked through the front door of our apartment yesterday evening, the twitch came back. And another sleepless boob stolen night awaited me. So the twitch is in even more full force today.

I feel like a creep. Who does that? Twitches their eye? I wish I could turn it off. But it refuses.

I love my kid. He’s my everything. But you guys already know that. Or at least anyone who reads this blog, follows me on Facebook or Instagram does. It’s all I ever post about. Or take photos of. It makes me feel really boring. But let’s face it, the kiddo’s cuter than me. And he’s more interesting (at least to me) than griping about boredom at work or my lack of social life. I can’t believe it’s already been a year. He turns one in 18 days. I really don’t know how I’ll survive the process of weaning from breastfeeding. The kid’s absolutely insane. He won’t sleep unless my breast is suctioned in his mouth. Not feeding, not drinking, just suctioning, or pinching. Like one of those plecostomus fish. Holding it hostage. Whining and crying if I dare remove myself to try and get some sleep. Another cool trick he’s taken up recently? Fingering my belly button. Have you ever had to bat away persistent tiny claws, hellbent on digging and scraping in your belly button? It’s absolutely terrifying. But is it worse than ‘changing the radio dial’? (aka titty twisting the nipple not in his mouth)? I don’t know. Both really, really suck. But it keeps him quiet and subdued. My husband doesn't always get it. He thinks the kiddo would need a bottle, and I’m just complaining about our son’s never ending appetite for milk and how tired I am. But the kid is not hungry. He is not even drinking! He’s just an asshole. But I love him. God how am I going to do this. But it’s time. My body is saying it’s time. My supply is going extinct. My eye is twitching. My body is changing. So, sorry, little guy, but your whole milk diet starts today. 

My hope is that I publish this post today, and can look back on it 4-6 weeks from now with a deep sigh of relief. A feeling of victor and accomplishment. The end of the road. The light at the end of the tunnel. We will all sleep through the night like restful little babies. My breasts will once again belong to me, instead of a mean, twisting and break dancing, masochist.

In addition to the goblin turning one in a couple weeks, I’ll celebrate my second mother’s day as a mom. The first, of course, being day 3 of induction, day 1 of his life. This year, we’ll host a Yo Gabba Gabba themed birthday party, as an excuse to give the boob sucker toys and cake. A couple weeks later, I’ll turn 32. That’s insane to believe, as I don’t ever recall turning 31. I think I was hiding in my in-laws living room with a tomato faced screaming alien, while the rest of the family ate BBQ. But I’m not sure. I just remember feeling very sad and invisible and not knowing what the hell to do. The last time I celebrated my birthday, I was hungover, freshly 30, on an airplane from Minneapolis to Chicago, following a weekend with my close pals in the Twin Cities. It was a fun weekend, sure not to be topped within the next decade. This year, I’ll be content sleeping. Maybe dancing. But that may be asking too much. Evening babysitters are hard to come by, especially when the usual round of volunteers would be guests at said night out.

Another aspect of craziness is that I always envisioned 32 being the designated mark of an adult or benchmark of ‘old’ or responsibility. Reason being, my mom gave birth to me when she was 32. So I always thought the years prior, (despite her having already been a mother since the age of 17), meant that that was her life, her time to experience adulthood without the heaviness and finality of being a grown up, grown up. And here I am, now. 32, just around the corner. 

Realizing nothing is different, yet everything’s changed. 

I’m married. A mother. Working a full-time job, downtown Chicago. A car owner. Wanting nothing more than to own my own home. Looks like I bought into the game of domestication. Settling down. I always thought I’d be a wild one, free spirit. Doing things differently. Chasing attention, fame even, something somewhere off the beaten path. Proving everyone and everything wrong – and right. But I’m here. Where I’m at. And I’m pleased. I’m happy. I’m proud.  And just so, so, tired.

I don’t want an eye twitch. I really don’t. But if it’s the trade-off for having bred and raised a kooky, cute kid, I’ll grin and bear it. The kid finally got a tooth. One. Everyone kept saying, 'oh, he still doesn't have a tooth? Just wait, when he gets one, they’ll all pop in at once.' Nope. Not the case. But that’s ok, I like his tooth. We named it Bobby. I only kind of feel it on my breast. Thanks, Bobby.

I’m at work right now. And I've had a mug of iced coffee. And a mandarin for breakfast. And I've done all the work that I can without input from others at the moment. It’s a real struggle, on days of corporate hostage, when I know there’s a million household errands that need to be completed, or a snug, warm bed waiting for me just a 45 minute train ride away.


I wish I had some sort of warm, meaningful theme or message to tie this post together. A conclusion. But I’m learning more and more, each and every day, that parenthood, adulthood, whatever this game is – it doesn't have a start and finish line. There is no feel-good lesson to have learned, like in some 30 minute sitcom, at the end. It just is. And keeps going. And you either have the strength to keep going, stay positive, or you don’t. but it doesn't define you. So I guess I shouldn't feel too badly for not having some enlightening boom factor to wrap up this post, either. But I do miss writing. It still comes naturally. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to come home and chase the passion. That is, when I’m not chasing a 20+ pound goblin around.  Til then, here’s to hoping my next post is a victory cheer. The end of an era. The freedom of my breasts.  The independence of the nips. Hooray for boobies. Ok, you get the picture. Til then. . . 

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