i say this now, because he's finally asleep. his tiny toes are curled up under my upper left thigh, his little arm curled up onto my torso. his messy blonde head laying just two inches from my elbow. who knows how long i have to attempt to type before he rises once again.
it's been a rough week. last week everyone (minus me) in my household was sick. the flu. a stomach bug of sorts. dad caught it first, then the little guy. then my poor mother in law got it when it was her day with the little one. 7 loads of laundry in four days. (5 sets of bedding). it was fun. and then once everyone seemed to have a clean bill of health - the REAL teething began. i mean, homeboy has been teething since he was four months old (now 11 months next week), but now it's real deal, cry cry crying, awake ALL hours. i haven't had as many 1am/5am parties since i was 21 living in wisconsin dells. but these parties are sober. and pretty much suck. it's just part of being a parent, i suppose. but man, what i would do if i could trade places. me be the puker. me have the insane oral pain. i wish i could take all the discomfort and suck it up and just be in hell. but i can't. instead, all i can do is make WOOP WOOP sounds and leap hurdles over my kiddo's head to distract him into laughing fits. or have such insane dance parties to MGMT, like this morning's, where he doesn't bat an eye after bashing his cranium into mom's face, nearly resulting in a black eye for him and a fat, bloody lip for mom. (seriously. he didn't bat an eye. i nearly however, burst into tears). instead, we used frozen bags of milk to apply on our wounds, and quickly resumed the living room boogie session, this time to some britney, bitch.
more yo gabba gabba. some gerber brand cheeto snacks. more dancing and tickle fests. mom checks her work email (because she is working remotely, after all). frequent son grabs mom's boob out of her shirt breaks. because, this kid of mine is no longer nursing, he's straight up treating me like a kegorator and is filling up his tapper on an on-demand basis. one more month. . .
but today was a good day. i've been fortunate enough where the little bugger is on his second nap of the day, which is unheard of as i understand it, for the entire week. he's finally catching up on some z's. we even got to take the absurdly expensive luxury stroller out for our first mother/son jog this morning. let me tell you, that stroller is a goddamn cadillac. the BOBs are totally worth the hype. AND I got to run 3 miles. but dude, pushing a 20 pound stroller with a 20 pound human in it? either my endurance completely went to shit in the last week and a half i had to take off due to crumby weather, or it's a tougher workout. that's good, though. i need some training and to bust my ass a bit. my first 5k of the year is right around the corner here in ravenswood, with the older bro the last weekend of april. we'll see how it goes. following our run, we had a bath and then while chilling on the couch for another yo gabba gabba binge, holden promptly vomited all over my crotch. so, that was cool.
i'm just so fucking grateful spring is here. my kid is no longer a weird alien baby. he's this person. this full fledged, little boy. getting baby boners. having boogers on his face. constant dirty fingers. babbling full sentences, grunting and HEY'ing, pointing, waving. walking (albeit, still holding onto shit), all over the damn apartment. standing on his own. laughing. petting the cats. pulling their tails. mad drum solos on the pots and pans in the kitchen with dad. he's simply so much fun. (when he's not making me go goddamn crazy crying, screaming, whining and refusing to sleep).
meanwhile, my life as an individual is going smoothly enough. my job is a job. any complaints i think in my head sound ridiculous when i try to say them out loud, so i keep myself in perspective and am grateful for the opportunity i currently have and am happy to be able to provide for my family. like this week, for example. i bought a mother fucking car. i've lived in chicago 9 years this july. 2 years in, my last car sputtered and croaked on hwy 90 coming back from wisconsin. when i learned the 89 camry required a new transmission, i said fuck it and never looked back on my days as a car owner. public transit, walking, biking all the way. fuck cars. rentals if necessary. but then an old acquaintance from highschool who sells cars for a living reached out with a reasonable deal. even offered to deliver it personally all the way from my hometown to chicago. the pricetag matched our tax return, and while we've been able to get by just fine bumming rides from whomever pities us, or zip carring it, or bundling the babe up like an immigrant in the colder weather - i finally sucked it up and admitted i'm an adult, a parent, and it's time i fucking suck it up. so i did. the car's nothing super fancy, it's 15 years old. very simple compact car. but aesthetically, there are no dings or scratches. only took a quarter of a tank of gas for the 3 hour drive from wisconsin, which is unheard of. and it'll suit our needs for groceries, doctor appointments and trips back to wisco just fine. other than that, we'll still be hoofing it up and relying on the ole cta. (gotta build up that babe's immune system somehow, amiright?)
but yeah. weird. i have a car. i'll admit, i still haven't driven it further than the half block drive from the bank parking lot down the street where it was dropped off and the baller parking spot i scored in front of our apartment. i guess tomorrow will be our first 'family spin.' man. am i a yuppie now or what? what's next? the suburbs? (ummmmm. shit).
now that it's spring, i'm elated that me and H will get some exercise in. strolls in the park, friday/saturday jogs. trips to the perfect cup - last summer's daily coffee jam. and if all works out, vin and i may even have a date tomorrow night. we haven't gone out for drinks together in MONTHS. for valentine's day, we did manage to sneak out to check out the new sushi joint in the neighborhood, but it was BYOB and i was a boob and forgot the wine. so yeah, looking forward to getting my tips on and remembering what it's like to be a wife, with a significant other, vs. a partner in crime chasing a little shawtie around.
the handsome one is still softly snoozing beside me. we're all curled up under the super soft fuzzy comforter my mom gave me for christmas, surrounded by a mountain of pillows. the radiator is hissing (although unnecessary), and the wind is quietly howling outside the window. my work day is complete, and i'm still on an adrenaline high from our earlier run.
his eyes are open, now. wide and baby blue. guess that means i best sign off before he starts contributing to the post. til next time - he's smiling at me now. heart - melting.
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