chat roulette is totally creepy.

so i've heard bits and blurbs about this new chatting concept called chat roulette. i guess really it's just the same thing as the dated ICQ or yahoo chat days back when i was in junior high and chatting was the hip new thing (on dial-up). i was too poor to have a computer, so i'd have to save my chatting dates until i'd have sleep overs at my fellow 7th grade girls' houses. the spin with roulette is 1) there's a webcam/mic involved, so now you can see a/s/l vs. transcribing and lying your little ass off. there is an option to participate sans a webcam, however if you do you're much more likely to get "nexted" which is point numero 2) it's a split screen so you can see your cam and the other participants cam, the whole chatting sesh is random, ala roulette, and you can either decide to chat or click "next" until you find your ideal chatter.

now, two things made me really wanna try this. 1) my friend told me she totally saw the jonas bros on her screen, but she got so confused and overwhelmed she just shut her laptop off instead of partaking in conversation - so OBVIOUSLY, my main initiative in giving this new internet creepdom a whirl was my feeble attempts at stalking any tween sensation, (preferrably jo bros, but after consuming several leinenkugel's and absolut punch contraptions, i settled on justin bieber). and 2) everyone i know who's done it says there's just penises everywhere. now, i do not care to see penises, strange or otherwise, but the concept of random dudes just wagging their dicks into cameras, for anyone to criticize in a microphone or to see their horrified facial expressions, or in my case, type obscene criticisms, (DO I SEE A SORE?? NICE DRIED CUM STAINS! THERE'S DRIED UP TOILET PAPER IN YOUR ASS!!). unfortunately, the penis trend is true. 7/10 cams were of dudes wagging their weiners around. i really, really hope it was because it was 2:30 am on a saturday night. otherwise, the youth of chatting culture will be much more disturbed than what we went through. no A/S/L? but, DICK DICK DICK.

if it wasn't penises, it was 14 year old boys asking to see our boobs. (i was chatting with a girlfriend, thank god, otherwise i would have felt like the world's biggest creep/victim/gross out). we had some fun with the little kids, promising to show our boobs if they could get justin bieber to show up on their webcam to ask us; asking them if they knew justin bieber personally and to swoop their hair like his to get chicks. a lot of, 'JUSTIN BIEBER 4 LYFE!!!' or 'YOU KNOW DA BIEBS? HE DA BEST!" quinn thought i was weird at first but then she also got the bieber fever. sidenote: i have never heard a single song of his, although i do know he's luda's protege and usher bought him a range rover for his 16th birthday. he was not only signed by luda, but also does a song with him. he has swoopy bangs and is from canada. DA BIEBS.

unfortunately, as many little boy BOOBIE requests and old gross penises we did have to horrificly NEXT through as quickly as possible through, quinn and i definitely successfully drunkenly amused ourselves for about an hour and a half. but then thinking back on it, i'm pretty floored and terrified that this is becoming such a huge phenomen. i would never want any of my brother's kids (OR ANY KIDS) to see this shit. if i ever caught a sick little 13 year old boy requesting my niece to lift her shirt or wag his piss stick, i would call up detectives benson and stabler stat and get those damn pervs locked up in SVU before i could dropkick the little fuckers. it scares me, and i'm all about fun new things. but where is all the outrage from the overprotected parents? i have heard barely any outrage/conflict from the news outlets and there is absolutely zero filter on the penis shots.i guess this is why i don't have children, so instead, i can harass them rather than worry about my own. 

meh. i did find out, though, the best ammunition is the biebs. see a wang? caps lock that JUSTIN BIEBER NOISE and that shit will go flacid faster than you can say grandma.