ok. so i guess right now i'm pretty much where i was at this time of the year last year. just kinda rewound my life a bit, sans job/apartment, but otherwise, exactly where i was last year. realizing, whoa, friends are pretty awesome and i don't need to be a big frowny face all the time. b/c being sad and lame is stupid. people who make you sad and lame are even more of a waste of time. so whatever. this is it.
last night, after sleeping all damn day, i opted to head down to west fest to say hello to good old handsome joe and crew. my friends are the bestest as they smuggled me several free tallboys and then escorted me to rainbo where we got in all sorts of hootinany. at three different points in the night, i busted out some freestyle. while, i am very very bad at rapping, the mere fact that i slipped into the comfort baller stage i once owned returned, albeit briefly, meant that i'm getting better. i don't give a shit about no dumbass boys. i don't care about the job situation. the family drama, well, it is what it is. me having a good time on a saturday night with some downass people has nothing to do with any of these bummers. so fuck it.
after a rather therapeutical week with long lost pals (and newfound friends!), i'm really starting to get it. it's like someone slapped me cross the face with a stupid wakeup retard stick. so now ima ball again. just keep on trying to get a job, hopefully get the apt george and i applied for in w.park, and just keep having fun with my crew. monday's both el guincho and caribou. thursday's all sorts of pre-p4k shows, one at bottom lounge and a whole mess of others. friday-sunday, DUH, is p4k, including dickfork at darkroom with the hood internet and sunday MOB's sponsoring a chicago set at the abbey pub.
distractions, distractions, distractions. eventually they're no longer distractions, but my life. and it's fun. i just gotta force myself to fucking get over stupid ass shit that ain't worth my worrying time. i don't have that much time, i gotta focus on the fun shit. LIKE DANCING TO ROBYN IN 5 FREAKIN' DAYZ!!!!! omg. gonna die.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
JODI GETS A JOB (yeah right edition).
BEST. JOB OFFER. EVER. TOTALLY NOT A PYRAMID OR GET ANALLY RAPED SCHEME. (just kidding, but i laughed out loud after reading this email like 40 different times. specially the 'my child is a little sick in the intensive care unit. convicted?? as long as you learn from past mistakes, no big deal, you can live with us, (yet states its a work at home job in a diff paragraph contradiction).
god, job hunting is fun. let me know if you want this broad's email addy and i'll hook you up with this sweet gig.
Hi,
My name is Mrs Mary-Ann Edwards wife to Mr Dennis Edwards, I'll need your services as an Admin Assistant/personal assistant for my business in Chicago . We just moved in to town a couple of days ago before embarking on a trip sponsored by my husband's company. Presently we're on vacation on board on an European line cruiser sponsored by my husband's company and we'll be back soon before the end of this month or at the very beginning of next month. I own a Makeup Studio,Others Beauty is my business , and I have numerous customers around the states. I work from home for now and i also do home service. I wish i had my website up already so that you can know lil about me business but that's one of the reason why i need a P.A who will plan with me so that we can set everything up.
Kim is our only child and daughter and she plays a very important role in our family, ever since she was born,the family has never remained the same for good. There 're just the 4 (myself,my husband,my daughter and my husband's mom) of us in the house hopefully you will be the fifth person( If you choose to live with us cuz the position is open to both live-in and live-out).I have an offer for you to be my personal assistant and to help with business related issues and advice, also to to take care of my business for me whenever am not around in person. You can send in your updated resume/references in your next email. I want to let you know that we're having much fun out here, we would have love to call you but the networkreception on board is really poor because of the high tides for this particular period of the year. But we will try as much as possible to call you as soon as we get a better reception.
My daughter has been a little ill and she has been in the Intensive care Unit on board for the past two days, But I thank God she's is getting on fine and this will prompt us in coming home as soon as we get to shores.
We'd have loved to call you for a face-to-face interview but due to the present situation of things, we are unable to do this because i believe that is the best way. I'd like
you to get back to me as soon as you can because the earlier the better and let me know your schedules and timing that best fits your plans. You'll be working for about Fourty (40) hours weekly and below are your task/duties.
Below are few deatils of the job and i hope you can meet all of them satisfactory ....
* Reading and replying emails from customers
* Receiving of incoming calls & making of outgoing calls to customers
* Taking proper care of sales records
* Receiving payment from customers
* Sending out payment to my clients for supplies of cosmetics
I and my husband want to put things in place so you can start immediately we arrive from our vacation.
Below is our Offer & Requirements.
You'll be paid $20 per hr ($800.00 weekly). You'll be paid every other week or Monthly . So you do let me know which one you prefer.
1) You must be able to speak English Language..
2)Is your partners in support of this position for you.
3)You must have any references and achievements ?
4)Ever been convicted ?? Doesn't matter to me as long as you have realize your past mistakes and now a changed person.
I await your prompt response and as soon as i get your response, I will write back to let you know if you have the job or not.
Best Regards.
Ms. Mary-Ann Edwards
Managing Director & C.E.O
god, job hunting is fun. let me know if you want this broad's email addy and i'll hook you up with this sweet gig.
Hi,
My name is Mrs Mary-Ann Edwards wife to Mr Dennis Edwards, I'll need your services as an Admin Assistant/personal assistant for my business in Chicago . We just moved in to town a couple of days ago before embarking on a trip sponsored by my husband's company. Presently we're on vacation on board on an European line cruiser sponsored by my husband's company and we'll be back soon before the end of this month or at the very beginning of next month. I own a Makeup Studio,Others Beauty is my business , and I have numerous customers around the states. I work from home for now and i also do home service. I wish i had my website up already so that you can know lil about me business but that's one of the reason why i need a P.A who will plan with me so that we can set everything up.
Kim is our only child and daughter and she plays a very important role in our family, ever since she was born,the family has never remained the same for good. There 're just the 4 (myself,my husband,my daughter and my husband's mom) of us in the house hopefully you will be the fifth person( If you choose to live with us cuz the position is open to both live-in and live-out).I have an offer for you to be my personal assistant and to help with business related issues and advice, also to to take care of my business for me whenever am not around in person. You can send in your updated resume/references in your next email. I want to let you know that we're having much fun out here, we would have love to call you but the networkreception on board is really poor because of the high tides for this particular period of the year. But we will try as much as possible to call you as soon as we get a better reception.
My daughter has been a little ill and she has been in the Intensive care Unit on board for the past two days, But I thank God she's is getting on fine and this will prompt us in coming home as soon as we get to shores.
We'd have loved to call you for a face-to-face interview but due to the present situation of things, we are unable to do this because i believe that is the best way. I'd like
you to get back to me as soon as you can because the earlier the better and let me know your schedules and timing that best fits your plans. You'll be working for about Fourty (40) hours weekly and below are your task/duties.
Below are few deatils of the job and i hope you can meet all of them satisfactory ....
* Reading and replying emails from customers
* Receiving of incoming calls & making of outgoing calls to customers
* Taking proper care of sales records
* Receiving payment from customers
* Sending out payment to my clients for supplies of cosmetics
I and my husband want to put things in place so you can start immediately we arrive from our vacation.
Below is our Offer & Requirements.
You'll be paid $20 per hr ($800.00 weekly). You'll be paid every other week or Monthly . So you do let me know which one you prefer.
1) You must be able to speak English Language..
2)Is your partners in support of this position for you.
3)You must have any references and achievements ?
4)Ever been convicted ?? Doesn't matter to me as long as you have realize your past mistakes and now a changed person.
I await your prompt response and as soon as i get your response, I will write back to let you know if you have the job or not.
Best Regards.
Ms. Mary-Ann Edwards
Managing Director & C.E.O
Thursday, July 8, 2010
what a shitty dream!
i don't know if it's b/c i indulged in alcohol last evening, got a tiny bit emotional, am super scared of getting my haircut today or if it's simply anxiety in anticipation of my hubby coming to visit me today (A-R-L-O!!! come to liar's club tonite for delectable shenaniganry), but i could not sleep worth a damn last night. and when i did, well, i had this really shitty dream.
i was writing for venus, which i do. and my girlfriend got a writing assignment with them too. cool! but her one assignment was only about 15 words. and she got priority over me in any future assignments even though she made it blatantly clear she didn't give a damn about the publication. ok. well, she got hired! permanently! as a full staff writer! ok. this STILL isn't the shitty part of the dream. apparently, i had an assignment to write a feature on robyn. (which i did in real life! zany, yes?). and something here or there got mixed up and i had a phone interview with her and noone told me about it so i nearly missed it! i told my editor i was done with the assignment, she accepted it and was like, "well how is this complete without the interview? it's supposed to be in 20 minutes."
i freaked out! and then the editor called robyn and said i wasn't feeling well and we'd have to reschedule. but then i got an email directly from robyn wishing me health and to feel better and that we'd talk soon. then i was elated. but then my editor realized she made a mistake and i wasnt supposed to interview robyn, she cancelled the interview, i didn't get to talk to my dream pop goddess, and then i was at a girl i knew in grade school's grandma's house and the girl came out as a lesbian and i had to eat some nasty ass strogenoff.
THE HORROR!!
so i woke up this morning, blue mascara caking my eyes shut. throbbing headache. scared to get my haircut. anxious to see my boo. sad about dumb shit. and now i'm laying in bed feeling gross wishing robyn was my friend in real life, but grateful that my real life friend doesn't have my dream job.
weird. word. what?
next monday, ya'll.
if you don't have plans at noon, join me at millennium park. el guincho is playing and i promise it will be a super fun radical extreme set. i know most of ya'lls got 9-5'ers, but if you don't have to work for whatever reason look me up and we can hold hands and boogie on my gross wine stained blue sheet to the super fun tropical electro pop vibes of mr. sexy dj man. aaaaand at 6:30, it's a double whammy cuz caribou's playing and cmon, the new record is pretty darned phenemonal. so there will be lots of dancing. and who doesn't like a dance party? electrosexmadness, i tell you. (this is a good thing, i promise for realzies).
bro repellent : guaranteed.
ok, so ladies. if you got a bro in a gross ass fireman's shirt trying to mack on you, here's what you do.
say he approaches you and tries to compliment you, "say, nice nose ring," ignoring it won't work. b/c then he'll just be like "whoa, tattoos, what do them say" and you gotta explain all 6 visible tattoos with a generic fake smile and be like, 'ok check it out im a bitch but still too sober that i gotta be subtly not interested leave me the fuck alone.'
this doesn't work with bros. at least not drunk bros who think that playing against an nes system aka "the asian" in a boxing match is legit. FUCK THESE TOOLS. ima tell you straight how the fuck to get ridda such geeks.
next time said bro approaches you asking to take your photo when you're clearly doing ok drunkenly taking pics of you and your friends with the old extended arm trick and homey tries to fucking TICKLE YOU or FORCE YOUR FACIAL MUSCLES TO SMILE, all you gotta say is the following line.
"Oh, me? You don't want to talk to me. I reccommend not touching my face or tickling me again."
Dumb douchebag bro: 'CMON SMILE"
"you really dont understand, i'm a pedophile who seeks out mormon children with downes syndrome. I prefer to sotomize them."
bro, fake smiling, "what? ummm, you're kidding"
"no i'm serious, i prefer to utilize tampons and lightning rods. I even record the hot action with my webcam and save it on my own youtube channel. I've had 75 hits so far. It's what all the people with hot tattoos do. Needles and pain man, makes US CRAZY."
homey loses his smile. quits touching me. walks away. "uh well, you ladies have a good nite."
my girlfriends look at me with an astonished wow, jodi, you went there expression and i receive not only a round of high fives, but a complimentary round for the nudie photo hunt machine.
see kids, life is getting better. alllllllll the time. i'm ok with this.
say he approaches you and tries to compliment you, "say, nice nose ring," ignoring it won't work. b/c then he'll just be like "whoa, tattoos, what do them say" and you gotta explain all 6 visible tattoos with a generic fake smile and be like, 'ok check it out im a bitch but still too sober that i gotta be subtly not interested leave me the fuck alone.'
this doesn't work with bros. at least not drunk bros who think that playing against an nes system aka "the asian" in a boxing match is legit. FUCK THESE TOOLS. ima tell you straight how the fuck to get ridda such geeks.
next time said bro approaches you asking to take your photo when you're clearly doing ok drunkenly taking pics of you and your friends with the old extended arm trick and homey tries to fucking TICKLE YOU or FORCE YOUR FACIAL MUSCLES TO SMILE, all you gotta say is the following line.
"Oh, me? You don't want to talk to me. I reccommend not touching my face or tickling me again."
Dumb douchebag bro: 'CMON SMILE"
"you really dont understand, i'm a pedophile who seeks out mormon children with downes syndrome. I prefer to sotomize them."
bro, fake smiling, "what? ummm, you're kidding"
"no i'm serious, i prefer to utilize tampons and lightning rods. I even record the hot action with my webcam and save it on my own youtube channel. I've had 75 hits so far. It's what all the people with hot tattoos do. Needles and pain man, makes US CRAZY."
homey loses his smile. quits touching me. walks away. "uh well, you ladies have a good nite."
my girlfriends look at me with an astonished wow, jodi, you went there expression and i receive not only a round of high fives, but a complimentary round for the nudie photo hunt machine.
see kids, life is getting better. alllllllll the time. i'm ok with this.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Revisited : Veneer
tracks like 'crosses,' 'lovestain' and of course, his rendition/remake of the knife's 'heartbeat' (omg this song SLAYS ME) are incredible and strong enough to carry the album on their own. he's a beautiful musician. eloquently crafted, i can't give him enough praises. i lost my physical copy of the record a few years ago, but after streaming mpr the current the other day, i heard a new track from his side project junip - (who also rules, btw and you can download their entire ep in exchange for signing up for their mailing list here: http://www.junip.net/ ).
if ya'll don't know jose, you can download veneer here. it truly is a beautiful and soft jam kinda record.
distractions.com
i need a partner in crime. or maybe two. i need someone to harp on me and make me motivated. someone to join me for bike rides to coffee shops or the library. someone to say 'hey jodi how's the jobhunt going' on a regular enough basis where i get annoyed enough to actually try to get a job just to shut them up. i need an apartment, but hopefully george is on that shit, might check out a couple places in bucktown on thursday. i need routines, i tried in vain to try and rejuvenate the book/craft club action but it seems everyone, albeit interested, are too preoccupied or busy. i tried to hang out with my family to strengthen ties there, but that was just temporary.
if i had a car, i'd go to minneapolis in a heart beat. the more i think these days, the more i wish i had more time. i fucking love chicago, this city, these people. but the only way i'm going to be in a better place mentally is to recreate myself and my situation. a change in scenery almost always helps. the last time i had a breakdown like the one last week was when i was 19. i wound up transferring schools across the state, and while i left a lot of close people behind who i still care for deeply to this day, i think i made the right choice. i didn't end up being miss popularity at uw-o like i was at uwrf, but i was grounded. i did meet mike, and i'm pretty sure that was meant to happen. so it was fate, i guess in a way. go batshit crazy, force yourself to make a change. that's the routine, anyway.
so now what change is it i'm supposed to make now? it's too last minute to move anywhere, and i don't even think i'd want to if i could. i guess i wouldn't mind giving the fine folks of minneapolis a year of my life and then return to chicago, but in all honesty i think i'd get even more restless up there than i am here. but would a smaller city do me good? maybe. . . but moving is obviously out of the picture now. so what are my options? well obviously, i need a place to live. and i need a fucking job. this FUNemployment bullshit is beyond stale and i'm ready to leave my apartment before noon. only thing is even fucking waitressing jobs are damn near impossible to nab. i'm overqualified for all the shit i see posted, yet i can't even score an interview for anything. i let the temp agency know i'm finally ready to return to cubedom, just waiting on an opportunity. . . so yes, job, apartment, both obvious contenders in my race to return to sanity. but those both will take time. what's my instant gratification for happiness?
this i don't know. i have four writing assignments to work on. my best friend in the world is visiting me thursday. i have this new laptop i can actually take out to work in cafes and shit. i get to catsit in a couple weeks. but i still need more. thinking about a physical re-do and maybe cutting my hair. dying that shit. i don't know. i wish i had a pal who could whisper motivating slogans and keep me encouraged. i guess if molly could speak english, she might be able to help out. at least she's purring and laying by my arm right now, despite the a/c being turned off.
i can only relisten to edward sharpe's 'home' so many times before i go crazy. but happy fun songs are good. this is one of them. i recommend checking it out.
this ramble is not making any sense. i'm going to pick up my book and try to zone out. at least this typing felt semi-therapeutical in a way. oh, if only it were thursday now. maybe arlo is my savior and will help me turn this frown upside down, i sure hope so. . .
if i had a car, i'd go to minneapolis in a heart beat. the more i think these days, the more i wish i had more time. i fucking love chicago, this city, these people. but the only way i'm going to be in a better place mentally is to recreate myself and my situation. a change in scenery almost always helps. the last time i had a breakdown like the one last week was when i was 19. i wound up transferring schools across the state, and while i left a lot of close people behind who i still care for deeply to this day, i think i made the right choice. i didn't end up being miss popularity at uw-o like i was at uwrf, but i was grounded. i did meet mike, and i'm pretty sure that was meant to happen. so it was fate, i guess in a way. go batshit crazy, force yourself to make a change. that's the routine, anyway.
so now what change is it i'm supposed to make now? it's too last minute to move anywhere, and i don't even think i'd want to if i could. i guess i wouldn't mind giving the fine folks of minneapolis a year of my life and then return to chicago, but in all honesty i think i'd get even more restless up there than i am here. but would a smaller city do me good? maybe. . . but moving is obviously out of the picture now. so what are my options? well obviously, i need a place to live. and i need a fucking job. this FUNemployment bullshit is beyond stale and i'm ready to leave my apartment before noon. only thing is even fucking waitressing jobs are damn near impossible to nab. i'm overqualified for all the shit i see posted, yet i can't even score an interview for anything. i let the temp agency know i'm finally ready to return to cubedom, just waiting on an opportunity. . . so yes, job, apartment, both obvious contenders in my race to return to sanity. but those both will take time. what's my instant gratification for happiness?
this i don't know. i have four writing assignments to work on. my best friend in the world is visiting me thursday. i have this new laptop i can actually take out to work in cafes and shit. i get to catsit in a couple weeks. but i still need more. thinking about a physical re-do and maybe cutting my hair. dying that shit. i don't know. i wish i had a pal who could whisper motivating slogans and keep me encouraged. i guess if molly could speak english, she might be able to help out. at least she's purring and laying by my arm right now, despite the a/c being turned off.
i can only relisten to edward sharpe's 'home' so many times before i go crazy. but happy fun songs are good. this is one of them. i recommend checking it out.
this ramble is not making any sense. i'm going to pick up my book and try to zone out. at least this typing felt semi-therapeutical in a way. oh, if only it were thursday now. maybe arlo is my savior and will help me turn this frown upside down, i sure hope so. . .
Sunday, July 4, 2010
little miss planner something.
so typically whenever i feel the itch to be the hostess with the mostest, i plan out every small intricate detail weeks, if not months ahead of time. this just winds up with me being stressed out and barely any attendees. so when my pal who lives down the street said yo jodi wassup i got this booze melon and a grill wanna do this? i was like, aight. i'm trying to lay low, don't feel like shelling out mad bones and travelling to wpark for 4th madness, let's do this.
ending result? something like 40 or so people crammed on my porch, chowing DOWN on the most food ever served at my crib in one serving ever. delicious dogs, brats, spicy sausages, chicken, veggie kabobs, grilled onion, asparagus, chips, brews and a hugeass boozemelon. realized it is possible to have mad fun with a minute's notice vs 3 months of hair pulling madness. the people i always expect to come through didn't necessarily all show face, but what was better was that all those who never usually show did. And that meant more to me ultimately anyway, text: jodi i'm here! me: you ARE??? i didn't think i even invited half the ppl who showed up just cuz they never can make it. . . .
anyway. this ramble just goes to say that planning is probably my strongest and weakest characteristic. being in control of today, tomorrow and yesterday isn't always worth it. just adds stress and needless worry. i'ma try to chill out and just go with wherever this ride is taking me. i can't be stuck in the ghettos of depression that much longer, right? soon enough, once i quit worrying and stressing that is, i'll turn the corner and something else will evolve. i just hope i remember to fasten my seatbelt.
ending result? something like 40 or so people crammed on my porch, chowing DOWN on the most food ever served at my crib in one serving ever. delicious dogs, brats, spicy sausages, chicken, veggie kabobs, grilled onion, asparagus, chips, brews and a hugeass boozemelon. realized it is possible to have mad fun with a minute's notice vs 3 months of hair pulling madness. the people i always expect to come through didn't necessarily all show face, but what was better was that all those who never usually show did. And that meant more to me ultimately anyway, text: jodi i'm here! me: you ARE??? i didn't think i even invited half the ppl who showed up just cuz they never can make it. . . .
anyway. this ramble just goes to say that planning is probably my strongest and weakest characteristic. being in control of today, tomorrow and yesterday isn't always worth it. just adds stress and needless worry. i'ma try to chill out and just go with wherever this ride is taking me. i can't be stuck in the ghettos of depression that much longer, right? soon enough, once i quit worrying and stressing that is, i'll turn the corner and something else will evolve. i just hope i remember to fasten my seatbelt.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
men i want to date : adam scott
reasons why i want to date adam scott:
1. he has a pentagon shaped face
2. i've had a crush on him since i first saw his face.
3. he's so ugly and quirky looking i want to rape his guts out it's so adorable
4. have you ever seen 'party down'???? that shit is hilarious!
5. he's friends with paul rudd so could probably hook me up with him if our date didn't work out so well
6. i've always been intrigued by older men (not really), so this could be my one old dude date (i think he's like, 37?)
7. not only was he in an episode of law and order, but also boy meets world, so i could get intros to both the old dude cop with glasses and ben savage. AWESOME.
8. he looks extremely nerdy and skinny and ya'll know how i go for them types
9. he's got a lot of acting work, so could probably afford to pay for my drinks
10. he was on an episode or two of parks and recreation so we could invite aziz ansari to join us
T minus 15 days til. . .
Thank you Beach House for ruling so hard. I can't wait to watch you in 15 days when I pee my pants in excitement and laugh and cry and dance and roll aroun on the ground.
That is all.
P.S. If you don't have this album, please contact me and I will fix this for you ASAP.
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