bro repellent : guaranteed.

ok, so ladies. if you got a bro in a gross ass fireman's shirt trying to mack on you, here's what you do.

say he approaches you and tries to compliment you, "say, nice nose ring," ignoring it won't work. b/c then he'll just be like "whoa, tattoos, what do them say" and you gotta explain all 6 visible tattoos with a generic fake smile and be like, 'ok check it out im a bitch but still too sober that i gotta be subtly not interested leave me the fuck alone.'

this doesn't work with bros. at least not drunk bros who think that playing against an nes system aka "the asian" in a boxing match is legit. FUCK THESE TOOLS. ima tell you straight how the fuck to get ridda such geeks.

next time said bro approaches you asking to take your photo when you're clearly doing ok drunkenly taking pics of you and your friends with the old extended arm trick and homey tries to fucking TICKLE YOU or FORCE YOUR FACIAL MUSCLES TO SMILE, all you gotta say is the following line.

"Oh, me? You don't want to talk to me. I reccommend not touching my face or tickling me again."

Dumb douchebag bro: 'CMON SMILE"

"you really dont understand, i'm a pedophile who seeks out mormon children with downes syndrome. I prefer to sotomize them."

bro, fake smiling, "what? ummm, you're kidding"

"no i'm serious, i prefer to utilize tampons and lightning rods. I even record the hot action with my webcam and save it on my own youtube channel. I've had 75 hits so far. It's what all the people with hot tattoos do. Needles and pain man, makes US CRAZY."

homey loses his smile. quits touching me. walks away. "uh well, you ladies have a good nite."

my girlfriends look at me with an astonished wow, jodi, you went there expression and i receive not only a round of high fives, but a complimentary round for the nudie photo hunt machine.

see kids, life is getting better. alllllllll the time. i'm ok with this.