a creepy walk home.

there's this song by this swedish group of electronic producers, i wanna say they call themselves the teddybears or something like that, something bear, anyway. the song features neneh cherry (eagle eye's sis, ala buffalo stance fame), and is called 'yours to keep.' it's really upbeat, catchy and sugary fun. i remember walking one day to the brown line from my old apartment on damen/foster, strolling past winnemac park with this song playing on my ipod. and suddenly, for no reason really whatsoever, getting uncontrollably freaked out. i got a vivid image in my head and idea that there was danger, or trouble. there wasn't of course, it was around 3:00 pm on a sunny weekend afternoon. but in my head, i imagined a rickety, white beat up van. and a young, pretty girl, maybe in her early-to mid-20's, such as myself, gleefully strolling in the park, listening to this same song. carefree, happy, no guard. just strolling, in the sunshine, on her way to wherever she needed to be, humming along to this pop gem.

then the man opens the sliding van door. grabs her blindsighted and jerks her left arm into the van. drags her body in the back. some cynical, dark, unspeakable evil. the image ends there, but i often think about it. remind myself, keep your guard up kiddo, you live in the city. you could get mugged, raped, beaten, killed. it doesn't matter what neighborhood you're in or how confident you are. this shit is real.

last night i was walking home after having some drinks. i walked through winnemac park on the clear, icy, concrete paths which were carved in a patch of snow. just my regular walk home from andersonville. listening to the decemberists' "16 military wives," a pretty upbeat quirky track. and then i got kinda freaked out again. swore i saw a shadow behind me. felt as if i was for sure being followed. but everytime i would turn around, trying to steal a glimpse behind me, i'd feel this tense, cinematic-esque feeling of dread you get in all the cliche horror films. the protagonist feels the danger, but can never see it. that kind of thing. "calm down jodi, you've had a bunch of beers. you're being paranoid. butt. . . it is dark and you are alone. so just get home as fast as you can."

but the whole walk home, i was straight up trippin. totally convinced i was being followed. even when i got to my apartment back stairs and was more than halfway up to my apt, i was overcome with this sudden certainty of dread, that my predator would appear in my back parking lot and race up the stairs with non-human speed, almost twin peaks-kinda creeepy, and get me before i could dig out my keys.

this of course, didn't happen. but it might be good inspiration for working on that new piece of fiction i've been turning over in my head. we'll see. . .