Age: 10 weeks, 2 days
i have no idea if i dreamed it, or if i was so sleep deprived i forgot, or if it was real - but i THINK holdie only woke me up two times last night before we finally rolled outta bed around 7:15 today. keyword - THINK. because that would actually be too good to be true if my baby really was sleeping longer throughout the night. im pretty much a zombie when i wake up to feed/diaper change, but i'm pretty sure i remember only taking him out of his peapod velcro swaddle twice - and to almost affirm that suggestion, i had twice as much milk supply this morning when i pumped after our 'ok we're awake for good' feeding around 8 today. if this is true, it's an amazing revelation, because it means i might actually have a sliver of a chance of being a functional human being when i return to the office in 12 days. vin and i have discussed the late night routine, and i think we've agreed on us each taking a shift if i prepare bottles - which would mean i'd only wake up ONE time before my new super duper early wake time to get holden prepped for the day//mom prepped for work. but damn. if he actually only wakes up twice in the night? hallelujah. i won't even pretend to get excited thinking about the luckyass moms whose babies sleep ALL NIGHT. jerks.
other than a half decent night sleep, (although you could fool me because i'm still beat as hell as i type this - even when the baby sleeps, it doesn't guarantee mom does. for some reason, even though my days are just spent boobing, diapering, singing, carrying, (but mostly guessing) a little dude, it's getting hard for me to fall asleep at night. maybe its the pending end of my leave. or the spike in heat. or my husband's snoring. or the fact that many of my days i have little to no non-baby related conversations or external stimulation. i dont' know. but it's not as easy as it should be to fall asleep. maybe i'm just too tired? catch 22.
i did discover a new holdie trick today, though. before, we had tried the backpack carrier - which works for laundry and essential errands. and we had attempted the maya wrap sling before, (which he wasn't a fan of), but today - i don't know if it's his enormous new size and better ability to hold his head upright - or if he's just coming around to it, but it turns out holdie will tolerate the maya wrap sling, and actually fell asleep not once - but twice today after being tucked into the crevice between my armpit and boob while i bounced around in vain to blur and feist. (i kept trying to move his head away from my armpit and boob, but mister wasn't having it, he liked to nap there). the fact that he was hysterical with no techniques working to soothe him in both instances, but then conked out within five minutes on each occasion in the sling means mommy has a new favorite accessory - regardless of whether or not i look like a hipster/hippie/farmers market mom.
also? holden decided today that drooling is his new jam. he loves it. a lot. dude slobbered all over the place. think it's sticking around. so i guess that means it's time to bust out the bib wear.
holden is very cranky right now. he's been fussing and yelling and sputtering for the past couple hours since his dad got home, (who is currently pacing the apartment as i type this). as a result, i too, am a little cranky. but at the same time, whenever i start to get grumpy or crabby, i need to look through the 300 some images i have stored on my iphone to remind me what a little sweetheart he is. (funny how i adore looking at the photos and videos of my son, while simultaneously rolling my eyes or holding my breath when he starts to squawk not a foot away from me in his napper). it's mornings like today, while in the midst of our feeding he did the pursed lips, butt in the air, spine arched and big stretch routine that i live for. i noticed he was making a series of goofy mugs, and managed to catch the following images - all expressions not 10 seconds apart from one another.
i'm gonna miss my lazy mornings with this dude. even when he's a bitch to his mom.
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