i've been seeing these daily 'challenges' posted all over social media. whether it's on instagram, a pic a day following some general theme, or '100 days of happy' on facebook - (which kind of seems conflicting, b/c if you're really happy for 100 days, why are you spending your time posting on facebook instead of living it up?). since i'm only going to be on maternity leave with mr. h once, and the time seems to be FLYING by (seriously, i can't believe i'm on my homestretch of leave), i've decided to create my own 'challenge,' and hope that it will accomplish a few feats with one attempt - 1) jump my writer's block battery, 2) capture the seemingly mundane moments that i know really truly aren't (at least for me and h), giving me something to revisit in the future and remember my boy when he was a tiny little bug, and 3) give updates for those of you who want to know - without spamming up your social media feeds. i'll call this my one month of mommyhood, or 31 days of holdie. we'll see. this truly will be a challenge for me on many levels - first and foremost, any of you who have ever had a newborn can attest/agree that getting even 4 uninterrupted minutes is a rarity - let alone the 10 or so it'll take to post each day; trying to find something noteworthy to document and get over my writer's block - and remembering to do this daily. so here we go!
Day 1: July 1st, 2014
Age: 7 weeks, 2 days
It's a Tuesday. Seemingly beautiful outside, about 75 degrees, five minutes to noon. Last night was a craaaazy thunderstorm. some of the loudest thunder/brightest lightning flashes i've seen in as long as i can remember. definitely made the later feedings entertaining, although there were a few moments i cursed under my breath that the thunder would stir my sleeping man. we started trying the early bedtime a few nites ago, 3 nites consecutively we've succeeded in swaddling H post feeding when he started to get fussy, turning off every light in the house, and just depositing him in the pack n play bassinet. and lo and behold, after maybe 10-20 minutes of self cooing and ninja kicking, the little guy passes out, fuss free. couldn't believe it. best thing ever.
so herre we are, chilling in the living room. h has the hiccups and is sporting one of his many 0-3 month rompers - we've officially outgrown the newborn sized clothes - although sometimes i do like to squeeze him in some booty shorts and belly shirts just to make him look like a pudgy hipster. he's in size 1 diapers and seemingly exploded through his 6 week growth spurt overnight last week. his neck/head control is crazy good, although he will still headbang a bit if he gets sleepy/lazy. luckily, the crazy ass involuntary limb flaiilngs have calmed considerably. smiles are a daily occurrence now, and not just 'ima gonna poop real good' grins. not as many as i'd like, and holdie seems to get pissed when i eagerly reach for my phone to capture the moment - like, 'cmon mom, just enjoy this moment. dont paparazzi my ass or you'll spoil it.' touche, kid.
i'm getting my bearings of basic mommy duties pretty well. nursing, swaddling, pumping, diapers, bathtime, burping, going for strolls - i feel like a pro. where i'm still at a bit of a loss is the 'i'm bored' cries. i try in vain to entertain the little guppy, making high pitched coos/noises, placing him in the vibrating monkey chair, the jungle gym playmat, picking him up, making sure it's not a diaper/hunger thing, reading him a story, but it's usually when i don't try that he's genuinely entertained - such as my offkey creaking to veruca salt's 'volcano girls' and dancing him around that he seemed to be happy as a clam. that's my boy, but man, mommy can only dance so much before she has to a) go to the bathroom, b) reclasp her bra so the neighbors don't see a loonytoon dancing around with her boobs hanging out in the window, c) try to eat something - anything. even raisin bran would be a treat - but that would require h being content to be put down for more than 30 seconds.
so it's a blast. really, it can be. the hardest part for me thus far in my past 2 months of first time parenthood has been battling the loneliness. experienced moms are a good source for me to ask qs, vent, etc., via text or facebook. the handful of park dates i've had with non 9-5 friends has been more therapeutic than i'd ever imagined. but most of the days, especially those where either the weather or my son prevents us from getting outside for a daily stroll, it's really hard. i guess i'm suffering a bit of an identity crisis? no longer jodi the corporate professional or fun lovin' pal, but jodi the mom. the mom with messy hair, stinky armpits and a boob always hanging out. (and dark circles under her eyes).
jodi the mom needs a break. but that can wait- cuz mr. h is crying again and my feverish rocking of the newborn rocker play thingy isn't working. so here comes feeding number 8. . . .
til tomorrow. :)
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