Day 5: July 5, 2014
Age: 7 weeks, 6 days
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today was a long one. almost too beat to draft this, but doing my best to sticking to the grind. after our eventless fourth of july evening last night, (sadly spent listening to 90s alternative itunes radio on my iphone speaker, drinking a whopping 3 beers and feeling it - driving me to paranoia of not being a good mom (but totally not being affected at all) and watching fireworks from our dining room window (inside)), we had a super long day/draining day today. decided to take the little one to oak creek, wisconsin to visit h's great grandmother with the in-laws. it was a beautiful day and the visit was nice. but it almost took longer to prep holden and his needed supplies for the afternoon trip than the visit did itself. not too mention the little bugger kept us up all nite last night (again), so mom and dad were running on nearly dead batteries. h took the liberty to then sleep ALL DAY - in the car, at grandma's house, during his feedings, on the ride back - by some miracle, we were still successful in getting him swaddled and put in the crib with the sound machine by 8:30 - an hour ago that has since FLOWN by. in that time i had the luxury of pumping my excess supply, unpacking/inventorying the diaper bag, organizing and putting away all his crap and getting bottles put away. #awesomesaturdaynightrager, amirite?
seriously though, today's theme is sleep. how much i love it. and need it. and crave it. and it's not fair that my little guy gets it - only when i can't. so as soon as i wrap up this post dear friends, i'm about to brush my teeth and crawl in my queen sized bed and keep my fingers crossed that i can score more than 3-4 hours for the night.
also, the reality of being in my final month of maternity leave is kicking in, and as each day passes, the more anxious i get and sad that's it's almost to a close. don't get me wrong, i'm totally up for having adult full lunch breaks, bathroom breaks, wearing a bra, brushing my hair and conversing with real people (more than just, 'oh wow, that was an excellent pee pee, holdie! can we get a poopie? who's my lil holdie bear! you are, you are!!'). but at the same time, the office is the last place i want to be, or scratch that, the commute from to/from the office is the last place i want to be. the 8 hours in the office themselves won't be that awful, but the throwaway hour+ downtown each way will be brutal, knowing my lil pumpkin is at home and i'm not. kinda hurts my heart a little bit thinking about it, so maybe i should wait to really ponder it over too much until later in the month.
for now, it just helps me appreciate the time i do have with my lil guy. our mommy/babymoon period. the fact that he's growing into his own person each and every day just makes me love him all that much more. as would him sleeping tonight. if he sleeps tonight, oh my god. i'd marry my own son. i just need sleep.
sleep.
on that note - i'll be back at 'em tomorrow.
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