i forgot about my long time diplo crush up until p4k this last weekend. major lazer can be simultaneously obnoxious/annoying as fuck and oh-my-god-dance-party-awesome. only hearing his recorded major lazer stuff prior to p4k, the beeps/bops/boops were ok for workout music but i failed to be wowed. well, after the ruckus i witnessed on sunday, my mind is officially changed. i always loved everything mr. thomas wesley pentz remixed/reworked in the past (i mean, hell dude is credited with working with both m.i.a. and santigold early in their careers), but now it's official. diplo is a man i want to date.
reasons why i wanna date diplo:
1. even though he's blonde and i typically have a no-blonde dude rule, he is fucking HOTT. baby blue eyes, messy, but clean cut hair. sick. i wanna dry hump my computer screen just looking at him. . . moving on. . .
2. he named himself after a diplodocus. he loves dinosaurs and even has one tatted on his arm. boys who like dinosaurs are probably the most adorable thing IN THE WORLD.
3. dude can make a fucking mean dance party soundtrack. for realz. piracy vs terrorism? bitch, please.
4. homey can get into any show in the world. i'm sure he's got priority for plus ones, free tix to m.i.a and santigold? yes, please.
5. he looks mighty fine in a suit.
6. he could teach me the ropes of daggering
7. we both studied film in college, so it's not like the color of our skin is the ONLY thing we have in common
8. he could probably jump start my career like m.i.a and santigold's. ima be the freshest mc straight outta argyle, wiscompton.
9. i bet he makes his girlfriends really awesome mix cds.
10. if conversation ever got awkward on our date, we wouldn't have to talk. i'd just shove my tongue down his throat instead. i'd be perfectly ok with this.
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