today i cannot stop thinking. so to avoid worrying about things out of my control, or getting worked up on certain social situations/familial dramabullshit, i'm going to avoid thinking on my yesteryear. 2004 was a pretty good year. a lot of personal growth, attributed mostly, to my soundtrack of the time.
this sounds cliche and lame, but there were several memorable releases that shaped me that were either released/discovered in tthis timeframe.
yeah yeah yeahs - fever to tell
a lot of music reminds me of someone or something or some experience. sometimes it's good and i can't help but smile (tessa and reggie and the full effect, freshman year). other times it really bums me out and reminds me of old break-ups or sorrows (shout out louds, "very loud"- break-up; wallflowers, "one headlight" - my grandma's passing). when i'm really bummed or stressed out, i strive to find the ultimate "jodi" album. the one where i can listen, front to back, and maybe remember when i listened to the album back in its heyday, but not be reminded of other people or situations. an album for me. of me. just so i can remember me and noone else. not sure if this makes sense, but believe me, if you try to flip through your ipod and find a song/album/artist you can enjoy without some sort of connection/memory, it's trickier than you'd think.
this album is it for me. the yeah yeah yeahs may have taken a turn in their artistic direction since their debut, but i ain't mad at em. 'fever to tell' is the one album, front to back, where i can feel sentimental without any attached personal romance (as i was perpetually single in 2004) - "modern romance/hidden track." i can feel empowered, fuck you in your face, sexy and alive - "y control". i can jump around my apartment sans caffeine or pants, screaming at the top of my lungs and not giving a shit if anyone walks in on me (well, 'cept maybe carrie b/c she's never seen me in my underpants), - "Date with the night," "rich."
BOY YOU'RE JUST A STUPID BITCH AND GIRL YOU'RE JUST A NO GOOD DICK. - black tongue. i mean, seriously. karen o yelping, shrieking, moaning, having hot sex with her microphone. this album is almost surely effective in transitioning my mood from blah to what-the-fuck-ever. and the greatest part is that it's not attached to another single living soul. just me, being me, not giving a shit, and doing what i do. plus, it kicks ass and it's fun to play really really loud until my subwoofer shakes my dining room floorboards.
i wanna be karen o when i grow up.
kanye west - college dropout
ok, so maybe the obsession didn't fully evolve until 2008, but i had many-a girly dance parties on my old madison crew's coffee table to 'all falls down,' 'kanye's work out plan' and 'through the wire." more of a guilty part-time pleasure, i didn't own any of kanye's full-length albums at the time of his debut release, but it was the beginning of my longest love affair with any man to date. when a newfound pal in 08 assured me liking hip-pop was not only ok, but awesome, i quickly caught up where i had left off with my old girly crew in the dairy state. i love kanye. this album, though, is still my fave. maybe 'good ass job' can change that come september.
george bush doesn't like black people.
elliott smith - from a basement on the hill
i didn't know much about mr. smith until after his passing. i knew he contributed some tracks to the good will hunting score, although i didn't know any of them by name or anything. i remember very clearly working the front desk of clemens hall, my old dorm at uw-oshkosh, being very bored. staring at the computer screen. seeing a mention on stereogum or somewhere, that elliott smith had died. i looked him up. i felt sad. didn't know why. a few months or however long later, i received his post-humous album, from a basement on the hill, at wrst. it came from a pretty consistent promoter, so i threw it in the disc changer in my old office immediately. from the haunting string opening, moving into the percussion build-up and epic instrumentation, i was crying before he even started singing. this sounds lame as fuck, i know. but believe me, i was not hip in 2004. i was an out of place wisconsinite who listened to saves the day and rx bandits. i didn't know what hipsters were. (truthfully, i even made one of my advanced radio pieces about the upcoming trend of "scenesters," describing them as the "kids too cool to wear a band t-shirt to the show." i interviewed members of motion city soundtrack for this piece. that's how hip i was).
the pain in his lyrics. in his song. his vocals. the instrumentation. bare and simple, yet epic and unforgettable. "a distorted reality is now a necessity to be free." "pretty (ugly before)." "a fond farewell." "king's crossing." (i can't prepare for death anymore than i already have.)
god, even thinking about these songs. and how much of an impact they made on me. and how many tears i shed. again - not attached to any person in particular, or even for the deceased songwriter, just the emotions that accumulated. no reason, really. just sad, empty, loneliness. i had recently gotten over a serious bout with depression and anxiety that took me across the state and two years of medicated therapy to overcome. while i wasn't a heroin addict like elliott, i could relate to the feeling of emptiness and the need to just feel, something, anything. it was theraputic to know that i wasn't alone, well, in the emotional sense i guess. shortly after listening to 'from a basement. . .' on repeat for the next 6 months, i eventually picked up the remainder of his catalogue. while 'figure 8,' 'xo,' 'either/or,' 'new moon,' 'roman candle' and his self-titled are all impeccable releases, i always wind up coming home to that basement on the hill.
i'm so "scenester" i even have two tats semi-dedicated to the dude.
the arcade fire - funeral
my friend seth wasn't even promoting this record at his label, but after we became buddy buddy on our weekly phone chats, he sent me a few burned discs he personally recommended. dude introduced me to annie, the knife, de la soul and most importantly, the arcade fire. i had heard a few tracks here and there from 'funeral' and at first was bored. dude's voice was wavy and off kilter. the music was accordians and not really my thing. but then, i realized this shit was bigger than that. neighborhood 3? how can one deny that intro, it's fast tempo, marbly vocals, xylophone/accordian/string sections. neighborhood 2? perfect shower shout-along, LAAAAAAAAAAIKA! wake up - well, we all know it was so catchy that spike jonez caught on 5 years later. rebellion (lies), however, is where i lost my shit. this is another album that is for jodi. sometimes i remember how i introduced my ex-beau to it and it was one of the few agreeable discs to play for long car rides, but really, it was mine. that blank burned cd. thanks, seth. i don't know where you are these days since gym class heroes broke up unless you're still band manager for that shit, but thanks for introducing me to funeral. this shit makes me happy, hopeful and back in my shower in 2004 on 715 wright street, oshkosh, wisconsin. not such a bad place or time.
plus, i vaguely remember smoking a mystery joint and sipping on some whiskey at central park watching this 12-member outfit rock the park stage, complete with david bowie on hand for the encore.
if only life was still that amazing.
jimmy eat world - futures
at first, i was over jimmy eat world. bleed american was the shit. clarity was the album you were supposed to like the most, and eventually i almost did, but when i heard a new one was coming out, i had just exited my "emo/punk" stages and was embarassed to admit my former love for these pop superstars. this changed, though, after the third or so listen to this record. this record isn't really a collection of singles, persay. i don't think i could really enjoy each track individually as much as i enjoy listening to the album from front to back completion, but when i do have 46 or so minutes, this is a good visit to the past. unfortunately, its' not a jodi album, it's a former dude album, but i have been able to remove myself from that time to the point where listening to this album is just an enjoyable glimpse of the time before. i had the record before the ex-boyfriend. i was really, really happy in 2005, so those memories are good ones. like looking in a photo album before all pictures transitioned to digital formats.
"i always believed in futures. i hope for better, (in november)." oh, mr. jimmy eat world, you are so deep.
please quit making overproduced shit now and go back to simple pop ditties, thanx.
modest mouse - good news for people who love bad news
if i ever have to introduce music to people of another ethnicity or another species from another planet. i think this album should be a crucial educational text. this album, from start to finish, is one of the most solid albums i've ever owned and if i need to explain why to you, you should go directly to a record store (or online) and find out for yourself, right. now. isaac brock is cool. even when he's fucked up on drugs. and making albums that aren't as tight (see, 09's noone's first and you're last). who cares. dude knows how to make a catchy track you don't need to feel embarassed about. can't wait to catch em at p4k this july. i really hope they play 'the ocean breathes salty' or 'the view'. then i can just shut my eyes, move my feet, shake my hair and scream marbly along with brock, and feel alright.
this would be a jodi album, although it takes me to a different time. summer of 2004 in wisconsin dells. residing in the extinct trailer 8. (trailer 8 is great!) where i could see the grass below the rusted/rotted hole in the bathroom by the toilet. i'd stare at the wildlife below every time i peed, praying a centipede wouldn't crawl in. this was probably my favorite summer of wisconsin dells. i remember my old friend nikki and i driving to borrow her dad's truck to move my furniture in oshkosh on our day off. cranking this album full blast, shouting along to 'float on,' arms flailing out the windows, knowing a long day was ahead but that our youthful states would get everything completed on time to return to our trailers on time for the night ski show. smoking cigarettes and pulling beer bongs in the picnic concrete courtyard between our trailers. climbing on the roofs. a hell of a lot of miller lite, hamms and pepsi. petey pablo. 50 cent posters. doritos. video camera. trips to walmart. and always, modest mouse bumping in the background.
i wish more than anything, i could get those friendships with nikki and kelly and days of my happy youth back.
revisitng this album isn't a bad consolation prize, though.
reggie & the full effect - greatest hits '84-'87 (re-issue)
ok, so this album had been released a few years prior to 04 initially. but i'll never forget the day the re-issue arrived at my office at wrst. i opened the package and screamed in glee! there were a few additional bonus tracks, and it was polished up a bit, but it was mine! and reminded me of my freshman year at uw-riverfalls, drunkenly shouting and singing along with tessa and quinn to these quirky key-heavy pop punk tracks. 'girl, why'd you run away,' 'your girlfriend hates me,' 'another runaway song,' and 'your boyfriend hates me' are hardly deep meaningful tracks, but they sure are fun as fuck to sing super loud and dance around in your underpants to. crooning to my cat, mostly. but if tessa or quinn were here, you're damned tooting they'd get a special lapdance tribute.
fiona apple can kiss my black ass.
tegan and sara - so jealous
i didn't listen to this album as much as i should have when it first arrived at wrst. but after a little prodding and encouragement from a certain promoter, i decided to give it a go. these lesbian canuck twins had strange haircuts and high pitched voices, singing into their acoustic guitars and keyboards about heartbreak, loves lost and jealousy. as a human being with a vagina, naturally, i could relate. and this album became my all-time 'i hate boys' anthem album. total vaginafest at its best, so jealous ignited a life-long relationship with their tunes. while this record doesn't necessarily count as my fave t&s record, (maybe 'if it wasn't you'? or 'the con'?), it's pretty solid and awesome. i even devoted my film pre-production final project to creating the music video for 'you wouldn't like me.'
i still have the hand drawn stick person tegan and sara drawings on neon construction paper in my closet.
i'm a really, really good illustrator.
now i think i need to revisit these, but maybe i'll start back in 2003 while i'm reminscing, i haven't checked 'give up' for a while now. the postal service always brings back memories. . .
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