maybe i should retitle this post as men i'd like to rape. because i would. spike them tea and crumpets with ruffies fo' sho. i've had my heart on this now old man brit for the past 13 years. from the very first "woo-hoo" to his new monkey opera garbage, i'd tap that.
reasons why i'd like to date damon albarn:
1. that mickey mouse t-shirt he wore in the song 2 video
2. his gorillaz cartoon alias
3. he could probably introduce me to his ex-gf justine friedman from elastica
4. he could help me write a kitty opera to coincide with his monkey opera
5. he's fucking hot
6. he likes safe sex (girls and boys, anyone??)
7. if he started talking about boring stuff, it'd be easy to tune him out because of his accent and i could pretend i didn't understand him instead of blatantly ignoring him
8. he probably can afford a car, thus, could pick me up from my apartment
9. i could drunkenly tell him how coffee & tv is my favorite music video of all time
10. i could openly masturbate to him with my eyes and mouth wide open.
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