special delivery?

my doorbell buzzed today. i absent mindingly let whomever it was in, thinking it was the typical solicitor or someone who doesn't understand the buzzer system and just hit my button since it's the top one. INCORRECT! it was for me. it was the ups man. with a very, very special delivery for yours truly. i thought my life was already complete, but obvs i was super mistaken, b/c how could it have been before i opened up this vip envelope?? what was this super exciting package, you ask?

why, the new devo cd of course! my fave band ever! (just. kidding). i don't even really know who the fuck devo is except that trio of old dudes who wear those dumb red bucket hats and whip shit. but apparently, i was invited amongst the media blast fortunate enough to receive this hot delivery. the funniest part of the whole thing is the restricted release warning on the back of the cd envelope.

In consideration of receiving this and future promotional cds, by opening or using this cd, the authorized recipient and his/her organization ("you") agree as follows. If you do not agree, notify us at once to arraange for return of this unopened cd. Until the cd release date, this cd is to be listened to solely by the authorized recipient, adn you agree not to reproduce, transmit, distribute or otherwise make the music on this cd available to any third party. Thereafter, this cd may not be resold, but may be used in any manner consistent with copyright law. At all times, you agree to keep this cd safe from unauthorized use. The music on this cd has ben watermarked with a unique identifier that allows us to identify you as the source of any unauthorized copies. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE, REPRODUCITON, TRANSMISSION OR DISTRIBUTION OF THE MUSIC ON THIS CD.

goddamn, it's like the devo police are out to get me. makes me wanna crank it out hard-on harry style and pirate radio this shit in my attic. WHO'S UP FOR A DEVO LISTENING PARTY MOTHER FUCKERS???

hahaha. this is so gross. filing this in the tupperware junk drawer, me thinks. at least i feel cool now though that warner bros has my mailing address.